Slow Chemical
by The Great NeoDragon
Summary: After another lost match, RVD becomes convinced that Kane is purposely trying to lose. But the question is, why? (RVDKane) Complete!
1. Chapter 1

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This fic currently is nameless, suggestions welcomed. 

Rob Van Dam walked slowly to his locker room, a sigh escaping him.

Another lost match.

He and Kane were better than this. Were capable of so much more than they were putting out. If he didn't know better, Kane was purposely trying to make them lose.

Why? It didn't make any sense. Ever since RVD had joined WWE only a few years prior, he had always wanted to befriend the tall, stoic man. Kane was massive in size and power, and he was almost always alone. The tender part of Rob's psyche hated to see anyone alone, and felt that everyone was good even if they didn't always show it. He eventually decided that he would prove his theory by befriending the Big Red Machine. Only recently had he been given the opportunity.

When they were first assigned a tag team match together, Rob couldn't help but feel excited. He knew that with his agility and Kane's strength that they would be unstoppable. Also, he would finally have the opportunity to befriend the forlorn giant. He was determined to prove that, despite the older man's aloofness, beneath Kane's rough exterior lay a gentleness that would only be shown to those who've earned his trust.

However, he was quick to learn that Kane's friendship would not be an easy one. Rarely would the older man pay Rob any heed, often ignoring him altogether. Even after their first, successful tag team match, Kane didn't seem to want anything to do with celebrations. Wordlessly he would retreat back to his room, or leave altogether.

Despite this glaring setback, RVD's determination refused to waver. Months he had spent, trying to persuade his partner to give their friendship a chance. Finally, months later, Kane began to warm up to him. The Big Red Machine began to hang out more with his new, smaller companion, respond when spoken to and would even mimic his taunts on occasion.

Rob Van Dam had even been convinced to believe that Kane was beginning to regard him as a friend. But recently, they had been plagued with disputes, and their lack of communication was affecting them in the ring. The fact that their antagonists were cheating horrifically did little to help matters. Kane's wrestling had become sloppy, unfocused, as if he was purposely trying to lose.

But _why?!_

"He's trying to drive you away," a voice from behind startled Rob. He had entered the locker and was mechanically putting his clothes in a bag when the voice had broke his train of thought. A flush of embarrassment crossed the young man's features, he hadn't realized that he was speaking his thoughts out loud. But he quickly masked his discomfort and turned to see Hurricane pulling clothes and other equipment from his locker.

Not too long ago, Kane had been allied with the young superhero. Now that he thought about it, Rob wasn't sure exactly what had caused the end of their friendship. As far as he was aware, there hadn't been too many disputes between them, and none of them severe enough to ruin their developing relationship.

"What do you mean?" Rob asked sincerely as he stuffed one of his shirts into the bag.

"Kane's afraid of being close to anyone. He's just been betrayed too much, and feels that he can't afford to trust anymore," Hurricane answered, his voice soft.

"How…do you know?" RVD stopped what he was doing and looked at the smaller man.

"He told me, once," the superhero laughed. "When he lost that match to Triple H, I decided to take him out. You know, go bar hopping. He didn't really want to go at first, but I insisted, so he finally did. I got him totally plastered, and that was when he told me… Shortly afterwards either he passed out or I did, I don't know. We were both pretty drunk. But the next morning, he was gone. He has never spoken to me since."

"Why?"

Hurricane shook his head slowly, "I think he felt that he revealed too much information about himself, and that our relationship was no longer an acquaintanceship. I could have tried to pursue it, but after seeing how much baggage his friendship would bring, I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. The same thing happened with Terri, unfortunately. What's sad is that she still wants a relationship with him, if only he'd allow it."

Rob stood in silence, not really sure what to say. How awful it must feel, not being able to trust anyone, not even oneself.

"He's trying to push you away…" Hurricane concluded, "…because he's becoming too attached to you."

The more he thought about it, the more sense it made. Kane had pulled away from Terri and Hurricane as soon as his emotions began to get involved.

"I won't let him pull away from me. I'll show him that he can trust me, no matter what." RVD shook his head, a fire of determination in his eyes. With that said, the young martial artist slung his bag over his shoulder and began to walk out of the locker room. However, before he left completely, he turned and gave his friend a wave, "Thanks, man!"

Hurricane waved back and watched him leave. After Rob was gone, the young superhero couldn't help but smile. "If anyone can break the wall that Kane's put between himself and the world, I know you can."

_Author's Notes: Am I the only person in the world who loves Kane and RVD as a tag team?! They are just so cool together! This story takes place before they won the tag team championship belts, and is sort of a novelized version of what happens. (It will generally go along with what's been happening on RAW, but with many backstage/outside occurrences that aren't on the show. Eventually it may break away and form its own plot)_


	2. Chapter 2

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Slow Chemical

Chapter 2

Kane sat silently on a bench, located in the locker room that he and RVD temporarily shared. His head laid in his hands.

It was Monday, and just yesterday he and his partner had lost another match.

A match for the tag team titles.

The Big Red Machine felt a wave of frustration. The champions had cheated savagely, but that knowledge did little to ease his mind. Severe conflicts plagued him. Although he had wanted to win that match…at the same time he hoped to lose. He figured that…if they kept losing, Rob would get aggravated and finally leave.

Wouldn't he?

The martial artist was obviously disappointed in their loss, but showed no desire to quit. What could possibly fuel his determination? It didn't make any sense. Finally, Kane decided that he would have to end their relationship himself. The big man nodded in resolution.

It was for Rob's own good.

Besides, how could he not have realized…?

That they were just not meant to be a tag team.

That Kane was just meant to be alone.

It was the right thing to do…wasn't it?

So why did it hurt?

Suddenly, the Big Red Machine heard the door to the locker open and he quickly pushed himself onto his feet. As Rob walked in, his partner took a breath. Before he could change his mind, Kane immediately began his mentally-prepared speech. From that moment, his mind went numb and his mouth worked mechanically.

_We've tried very hard for the belts, but they're just out of our grasp…_

Maybe…we should go our separate ways…

Rob would be better off without him, and Kane would be safe from the risks associated with companionship. It was for the best…

"Well…if you want to. But I got us another shot tonight at the tag team titles…"

Standing in the ring, looking at the other two tag teams, (which was more like a 4-person team, considering that the Dudleys were obviously allied with Lance and Morley) Kane held his breath.

How in the world did Rob think that they could pull this off?

How could he think that Morley would allow them a fair title shot?!

When was Morley _-ever- _fair?!

Not only that, but it was likely that RVD had sold both his and Kane's soul that night. Unless they managed to win this match, the duo will be bound to Bischoff and Morley's wretched little "team". The thought of it was enough to make the big man sick.

Rob, on the other hand, was brimming with confidence. His partner couldn't help but wonder where in the world it came from. They had been on a partial losing streak due to consistent cheating. Obviously there was going to be _plenty_ of cheating tonight. What possessed Rob to believe that tonight was going to be any different?

Finally letting out his breath, Kane could only hope that Rob's confidence would not be unfounded…

Excitement coursed through RVD as he watched his partner double choke slam both Lance and Morley into the mat. He knew they were going to win.

Kane had apparently not believed in himself or them as a tag team. But that was alright, because Rob had enough confidence for the both of them. As the match progressed and the Dudley Boys were eliminated, the tides had completely turned. With the realization that they could possibly win, the Big Red Machine began to fight with a newfound air of determination. The two finally began to cooperate, their moves and attacks complimenting each other.

After delivering the choke slam on their antagonist, Kane tagged his partner and gestured for him to perform the frog splash. Rob was quick to comply.

Everything flowed so fast, so perfect. The cheers of the crowd, all in favor of Rob and Kane. The attack landed smoothly and, despite his exhaustion, adrenaline moved the martial artist's limbs. Without hesitation, he immediately went for the pin.

One.

Two.

Three.

They had won!

Thrilled, Rob snatched his belt eagerly from the referee and jumped onto the turnbuckle. Finally, despite all of the bumps along their path, he and Kane were at last on the top of the tag team mountain!

When he thought the night couldn't get any better, after jumping off of the turnbuckle he turned to find himself enveloped in a bear hug from Kane. It greatly pleased Rob to see his normally somber friend share in the joy and excitement of their victory. So surreal, so perfect the night progressed.

Turnbuckles erupting into flames.

The cheers of the crowd.

The familiar entrance theme playing in the background. 

Another bear hug from his companion.

All of the problems they ever went through, the fear, the frustration, it was all worth it for this moment.

They were champions!

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Author's Notes: I hope the events of this chapter didn't move too fast. I didn't want to go into great detail about everything that happened, as it is likely that you already know. Instead, I wanted to get into the thoughts and emotions that were going on during the most crucial points. I hope that I didn't give the impression of rushing by doing things that way, and I hope you liked this chapter. I know it's a bit short. The next chapter is going to be like this one, except talking about Raw 4/6/03. Afterwards, it will either continue to follow WWE as it is, or it will break away and form its own plot. It just depends on what happens in the show.


	3. Chapter 3

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Author's Notes: I decided to take this story in my own direction from this point on, however, it will likely parallel what is going on for real. AKA take some shtuff that's happening IRL and warp it to suit my fancy

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Slow Chemical

Chapter 3

Their victory would be a difficult one.

Morley and Lance Storm made sure of that.

Match after grueling, unfair match Kane and Rob struggled through.

And match after grueling, unfair match they would win!

Through the trials, their bond became increasingly stronger.

How long would their luck continue to last?

After a longwinded speech before the interviewer, Morley verbally announced that their luck was going to run out.

Tonight.

"Hey, Champ!" RVD said with a grin as he saw Kane walking down the hallway. While the two began to hang out shortly before and after the shows, for reasons that Rob didn't understand, Kane preferred solitude during all other times.

That was alright, though. The martial artist knew that it would be a long time before his partner completely warmed up to him, and was content with the time they currently shared.

Kane tilted his head at his new nickname. "Hey, man"

"You sound beat," RVD looked him over. "What's wrong?"

"Did you hear what our match is tonight?" the Big Red Machine asked wearily. Rob shook his head. "We get to fight them and the Dudleys, _again_, in a no disqualification match."

RVD stifled a groan, "When will Morley understand that he's not getting our belts!"

Kane shook his head. "It's not for the belts, fortunately. Morley said that he 'has different plans for us tonight'. I don't like the sound of that."

"Dude! We've been through just about everything that guy's got to dish out! Whatever he has planned, we will overcome!" Rob said with a hearty laugh.

Kane didn't laugh.

Morley slammed heavily into the canvas by his massive antagonist.

Kane raised one arm, glancing over at the unconscious Dudley Boys and the struggling Lance and Rob to make sure that his attack would be delivered undisturbed. Feeling his partner's eyes upon him, RVD kicked Lance in the side of his face. As his competitor landed heavily on the mat, he flashed his friend a thumbs up.

Smiling, Kane looked back down at Morley, who was currently climbing onto his feet. However, his smile immediately faded as Morley returned the expression with a grin of his own.

He was in no position to grin.

Or was he?

"KANE!"

Before any further thought could be put into the matter, a sharp blow landed on the mid of his back. Kane landed heavily on the ground. He turned his head to see Triple H and Ric Flair?!

In HHH's hand he held a chair.

The Dudley Boys were climbing onto their feet, as were Morley and Lance.

It was an ambush.

Kane immediately pushed himself onto his feet. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Rob in his fighting stance.

Their luck may have hit an abrupt end, but it wasn't over.

Not by a long shot.

Kane landed heavily on the ground. Before his closed eyes he could see stars. Laying a few feet away was his partner. Despite the pain that coursed through the big man, he couldn't help but smile. Rob may have fallen, but he left his mark on both Lance and Ric Flair. Flair's motionless body lay outside of the ring, and Lance had a developing bruise on the side of his face.

The Big Red Machine had also left HHH something to remember him by. A line of blood trickled down the smaller man's lip. Bloodied teethed bared in rage, Triple H raised his chair threateningly at the referees who tried to stop his maddened, unfair assault.

Buh Buh and D-Von could only stand and watch, compelled by their new masters to involve themselves in the destruction, but not wanting to do anymore than what was ordered of them. 

Kane slowly opened his eyes, and through his unfocused vision he could see the barely conscious Rob trying in vain to get up. He could see the blurry form of Lance gesturing wildly to his partner, urging HHH to hit him again with the chair. RVD's weakened limbs apparently failed to cooperate, and he slumped back down with a growl of frustration.

Triple H grinned sadistically at his friend's weakened state and walked over to him.

Watching the cerebral assassin standing over his partner, with his chair ready to strike, Kane's strength came back to him.

No matter what happened to him, Rob will be spared.

Rob groaned in frustration. His limbs simply ceased to obey him.

The dizziness and numbness did little to help matters.

Where was Kane? Falling back down, the martial artist lacked the strength necessary to turn his head and locate his partner.

_I hope he's ok…_

Triple H stood over him, raising his chair up over his head. Desperately he tried to will his limbs to move, but still they wouldn't comply. His eyes widened in horror as the chair slammed down, fueled by the attacker's massive strength…

Kane suddenly came out of nowhere, throwing himself over his partner and absorbing the blow.

"Kane!"

There was no response.

Finally the referees decided to grow some testosterone and help them. Roughly twenty of them swarmed into the ring, pulling Morley and his lackeys away from the wounded champions.

The screams and cries of the audience, as well as the words of the referees and the trash talking of his antagonists were all drowned out in Rob's mind.

Kane was hurt.

Bad.

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Author's Notes: While this story was taken in my own direction, it may be influenced by the events of the show. Or, if the events of the show don't spark my creativity, I will continue to do the events my way. I hope you liked the fic so far, and are pleased with my decision. (Another reason I decided to take the fic my own direction was so I wouldn't have to explain what Kane did with the stinky skunk, LOL. I don't think any of us want to know…=D )


	4. Chapter 4

Slow Chemical

Chapter 4

Rob Van Dam sat silently in the waiting room, cradling his head in his hands. His numerous wounds were easily treatable, as they all had been minor. 

But Kane…

Kane had risked his own life and welfare to protect him.

Sometime during his wait, Gregory Helms, also known as Hurricane, and Terri had shown up. Rob figured that they had seen the events unfold through the titantron. It didn't matter, anyway. Their presence brought a great comfort to the martial artist. Hurricane did all of the paperwork while Terri sat next to him.

"I know you're worried about him…" Terri said softly. "But he's going to be fine, I know it."

Rob could only nod, hoping that her words were true.

"He's a tough one," Hurricane murmured in agreement. He adjusted his glasses before setting back to work on the papers.

"Thank you for coming…" Rob replied softly. "I know he'll be glad to see you both."

"I finally tracked down Undertaker's number and left him a voicemail," Terri said with a sigh. "I was hoping that he would come."

Greg shook his head. "He's not going to come."

Rob glanced over at the superhero, his words sending a small pang of sympathy through him. He didn't know that much about Kane's past, as he had been working for another federation at the time it was announced. However, he did know some of it through word of mouth as well as Kane himself, and it sounded horrible. Supposedly Kane had been severely burned in a house fire caused by his elder brother, which explained his paranoia regarding his mask. How hard it must be, to have a brother who was supposed to protect and guide you instead destroy your life.

Suddenly, the doctor walked into the room. As he approached, Rob's heart felt as if it was going to stop. He immediately climbed onto his feet. The medic was an older man with graying hair and a passive look on his face.

"Hello, I am Dr. Smith-" the man began.

"How is he?" Rob cut him off, his voice thick with concern.

"He has a concussion, as well as other minor injuries," the medic said coldly. "Your friend gave us a lot of trouble. We ended up having to sedate him."

The tone of the man was annoyance, as if he had been dealing with a spoiled child. However, his words concerned Rob. Although Kane was not the most compliant man in the world, why would he fight back so hard that they had to sedate him?

"When can I see him?" RVD asked.

"Anytime. We are going to keep him overnight incase anything should happen. Tomorrow morning he can go," Dr. Smith explained, with a casual wave of his hand towards the room Kane occupied. 

Terri nodded to Rob. "We'll handle the rest of the paperwork, you go to him."

The martial artist nodded and immediately walked to the room. Upon entering, he quietly closed the door behind him. The lights were off, and as a result the room was almost pitch black. Fancying that Kane was asleep and not wanting to wake him, Rob managed to find a chair and feel his way to the bed.

"Rob…?!" a weak voice startled him. RVD sat down on the chair and blindly reached forward until he felt Kane's hand.

"Hey, champ…" Rob said soothingly. "How're you feeling…?"

"I h-hated hospitals…" Kane whispered. His tone was thick, almost numb from the sedatives. However, even within his deadened voice was a spark of fear.

"So I've heard…" RVD said with a gentle laugh. "The doctor said that you gave them a hell of a time!"

His laughs died on his lips as he felt Kane's hand tremble.

"Hey…" Rob gently rubbed his hand. "What's wrong?" 

"I r-really hate h-hospitals…" the big man whimpered, his voice tight with apprehension. It was then his friend realized that this was more than just some childish fear.

"Don't worry…you only have to stay the night…" Rob said tenderly. "Tomorrow will happen in no time and you'll be able to go home…"

As Rob's eyes began to adjust to the darkness, he could vaguely see his friend slowly shaking his head. "I don't…want to s-stay…the night…"

"I'll be right here," RVD whispered, trying to console his partner. "It's the least I can do. You saved my life."

There was a hoarse laugh. "That…sounds so.. dramatic…I didn't… save your life…"

"Ok then you saved me from a hell of a lot of pain, then," Rob said with a soft chuckle. There was no reply. "Kane?"

The sedatives had finally kicked in. Kane was asleep.

_The room was so white. So incredibly white. Had Kane not known better, he would have thought he was in Heaven._

But this place was too dreadful to be Heaven.

The lights were so bright, Kane had to shield his eyes.

Pain consumed him, but it was numbed by an even stronger feeling of horror.

There were many others in the room with him, but they were all faceless.

"Mom?" he cried, searching the empty visages of the people for one he could recognize. "Dad?"

Everything had happened so fast, yet at the same time painfully slow. He had been sleeping peacefully, when suddenly he was roughly aroused by a blazing heat. Opening his eyes, he found his room consumed by flames. The next thing he knew, he was here. How he wished that he was back home with his mother and father and big brother. That this was just a terrible nightmare that would soon end.

"Mom!" he cried again. "Dad?!!"

"They're not here," a voice emitted from one of the faceless creatures.

"They were killed in the fire," another voice stated.

"No!" he yelled. "That's not true!"

The faceless mass began to surround him, but he lashed out at them.

_"Don't touch me!" he roared._

"You need to be treated for the burns you've sustained," a voice emitted from another faceless entity. "This may hurt a bit but it's for the best."

"No," he cried with a vigorous shake of his head. "Go away! Mom! Dad!"

As the mass swarmed over him, behind him the child could faintly see another figure. The short, heavyset figure was vaguely familiar. Although he could not identify the man, the haunting eyes that glared back at him would forever burn themselves into his memory…

Rob was half asleep, his head laying on his folded arms by Kane's bedside, when an outcry stirred him from his thoughts. He immediately lifted his head and looked over at his friend. The room was still very dark, but his eyes had since adjusted.

Although the martial artist could make out his friend's figure on the bed, the features themselves were unidentifiable. His movements were sluggish as sleep dulled his awareness. Another cry immediately snapped him to full awareness.

"Kane?" Rob murmured, giving his friend a gentle shake. The big man replied by lashing out at him. The martial artist barely had time to dodge a blow that could very well have taken his head off. The action would have dissuaded a normal man from further efforts.

But RVD was not a normal man.

"Kane, wake up! You're having a nightmare!" Rob said, his voice slightly louder. He grabbed onto his companion's hands as to prevent a second attack. This, however, did little to calm the raving man, who struggled against his hold with a surprising ferocity.

"No, no, no, go away!" Kane suddenly growled. His tone was unlike any Rob had ever heard emitted from his partner before. It sounded so small…lost, as if his mind was away, locked within the dream. He wasn't speaking directly to his partner, but to the assailant(s) in his nightmare.

"It's me, Rob!" the martial artist said soothingly. "It's just a bad dream. A bad dream…"

Finally the struggles ceased. There was a long pause. "Rob…?"

"I'm right here…" he said tenderly, squeezing both of his hands. There was another pause. "Do you want to talk about it…?"

"No…" Kane shook his head vigorously. His voice still sounded so…small, so unlike him. "I just want to forget about it…"

"Is there anything I can get for you?" Rob asked softly. "Something to eat? To drink?"

His friend answered with another shake of his head. "…Stay here…please?"

The request surprised him, yet at the same time he was touched. For so long Rob had been trying to become close to his tag team partner, and for so long it had seemed for naught. Yet now he had a feeling that, had he been anyone else, Kane would not have made that request. To ask that of someone required a certain amount of trust that he had previously feared that Kane would never bestow.

"Sure, buddy," Rob tenderly replied. The big man shifted to allow room. Afterwards, the martial artist climbed onto the bed and laid down on top of the covers. Once that had been accomplished, Kane yawned loudly. Glancing over at his friend, which truly was a pointless gesture because the darkness made it difficult to see, RVD grinned. "Tired?"

"A little," was the reply.

"Go to sleep, Champ," Rob said tenderly. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

There was another yawn, followed by snoring. RVD chuckled softly before folding his arms behind his head with a hearty yawn of his own. Sleep soon followed.

_Author's Notes: I was so trying to make this a cute, warm and fuzzy scene without turning it into total slash. O.o Not quite sure whether or not I failed, lol. Oh well, it'll probably end up being slash against my will anyway. Haha, fics sometimes have that habit of going in their own direction. Actually, I have this big massive idea for the upcoming plot and need to figure out how I'm going to handle everything. Hopefully I'll be able to figure it out soon and have the next chapter up promptly. Either way I hope you enjoyed this fic so far!_


	5. Chapter 5

Slow Chemical

Chapter 5

During the night, Rob was awakened by thirst. His eyes having long adjusted to the prevailing darkness, the martial artist glanced over at his sleeping partner. It was then he realized that Kane was not wearing his mask. Quickly he turned his gaze elsewhere before he could get a good look. Although he was not afraid of the "horrible scars" that the big man supposedly had, he had long ago decided not to pressure Kane into taking his mask off prematurely. 

As he quietly climbed out of bed and walked through the door in search of water, a reoccurring thought began to plague him.

If his knowledge was correct, Kane had been burned severely throughout his body by a house fire. In fact, the scars were so terrible that the big man covered everything except for one arm. And yet…now both arms and the lower half of his face were uncovered. One would expect to find some kind of scars, faint or otherwise, from someone who was so mortified by their own appearance that for years remained almost completely covered. It didn't make any sense.

_When I was a kid I was kept in the basement, where I tortured squirrels with razorblades…_

He didn't know much about Kane's father, but everything he did know failed to place the little man in a positive light. In fact, Paul Bearer had been described as an evil, vindictive manipulator who trained his son to be a monster and unleashed him on the WWF to destroy his brother. With this in mind Rob couldn't help but wonder…

What if Kane's scars aren't as prominent as he had always believed them to be?

What if, in order to keep him isolated from the outside world, his father had dramatized the scars? Could he have brainwashed Kane so powerfully that he would see what was never there?

As he approached one of the desks and politely asked for a cup of water, Rob sighed inwardly. What could he do to test this theory? It would be a long time before Kane would willingly unmask himself, and taking advantage of his friend's time of weakness to sneak a look at his features was out of the question. He would have to talk to someone who had already seen Kane's face. Unfortunately, no one came to mind.

One of the secretaries handed him a plastic cup of water and he quietly thanked them before returning back to the room. Upon entering, Rob made sure to avoid looking at his friend's face despite his growing curiosity. Taking a sip of water and placing it on the floor next to the bed, he laid back down next to his partner.

As sleep lulled the martial artist to peaceful oblivion, one last thought remained in his mind.

If his hypothesis was correct, then Kane would be free from the confines of dependency on the mask, the ridicule of the other wrestlers, the fear, the loneliness, and everything in between.

As dawn approached, Kane was the first to wake. Pushing himself quietly into a sitting position, he glanced down at the sleeping Rob. Millions of thoughts coursed through his mind.

_What have I done?!_

Never had he allowed himself to show weakness. Whenever the relationship threatened to become too intimate Kane would always withdraw. Not Bradshaw, not Booker T nor Goldust nor Hurricane nor Terri…he never would allow any closeness to develop. Too many times has he allowed himself to trust. Too many times has he been burned by his naivety. X-Pac, Tori, his brother and father…Kane was always betrayed in the end.

He felt that…as long as he remained alone, he would never realize what it felt like to be lonely. Like when a person is born blind, he never knows what he's missing because he never had it to begin with. It simply was too risky to trust anyone because upon abandonment Kane would realize just how alone he really was.

All of his potential companions had understood this and were easily driven away.

Yet Rob was different.

Since the beginning of their relationship, Kane had tried to push him away. However, no matter what the big man did, RVD stubbornly stuck by him. Slowly he felt himself growing more and more fond of the martial artist. Now…

Now their relationship was becoming threateningly intimate.

Rob had seen him in a moment of weakness. Now he knew, first hand, that Kane was just as human as everyone else, complete with fears, dreams and everything in between.

Yet…Rob was still there. There wasn't much the big man could remember from the previous night, as he had been heavily sedated. However he did faintly remember his partner awakening him from a terrifying dream that he could barely recall. Although in the darkness he could not make out his companion's facial expressions, his tone and body language indicated…compassion, understanding. For that moment, his logic numbed by the effects of the medication, Kane reached out to him.

Not only had the martial artist seen him in such a delicate state, but he even reciprocated. This left Kane in a terrible predicament. This closeness was making him vulnerable to a world of hurt once the inevitable betrayal would occur. Yet…he couldn't help but wonder…

What if Rob never betrays him? What if…the companionship that the big man had always yearned for wasn't beyond his reach after all? Was it worth the risk?

He didn't know.

By the time Rob woke up again his partner was already up and wearing his mask. Shortly afterwards the doctor came in to tell them that Kane could finally leave. As the two walked out, silence prevailed. Conflict warred within the big man's mind. Rob had been there when he was needed most…yet…every time Kane had ever let down his defenses he was always betrayed in the end. The pain of these treacheries had become increasingly harder to bear. If it were to happen again…

It was just too risky.

The martial artist stretched his arms up over his head.

"I gotta remember to thank Greg and Terri later. They came to the hospital yesterday and were really helpful with the paperwork and everything," Rob said thoughtfully.

"Greg and Terri?" Kane asked, surprised. After cutting off his relationship with both of them, he never expected them to want anything to do with him.

"Yeah. They were worried about you, Champ," the smaller man answered.

Kane paused. His walk slowed to a stop. Seeing his partner's actions Rob also stopped.

"What's wrong?" RVD asked.

"Hey Rob…listen…" the big man said softly. "Rob…um…thanks for coming to the hospital and all but…um…there are some things I need to think about…"

"And you wanna be alone to think?" the martial artist asked. Kane nodded. "I understand, but I better see you on Monday or I'll…uh…look at you menacingly!"

The big man looked taken aback at the mock threat. Finally he laughed softly. "Yeah Rob, I'll see you on Monday."

Kane's request wasn't much of a surprise. It was only a matter of time before their closeness would become too uncomfortable. He decided to give his partner as much space as he needed, but also made it very clear that their relationship was not going to be over. However Rob also didn't want to intimidate him so he stated his intentions in the form of a joke. Fortunately his attempt at humor succeeded in lighting the mood and the two parted on comfortable terms.

However, as the martial artist watched his friend's departure, he inwardly hoped that Kane would keep his word…

Later that evening RVD checked the schedule to see where the next Raw was going to be held. Fortunately it was being held in a nearby city, close enough to drive as oppose to flying. Suddenly, something on the schedule caught his eye and he skimmed over it again.

Not only was Raw going to be held there, but so was SmackDown!

That meant…that the SmackDown roster going to be staying in the nearby hotels along with the Raw roster.

That includes Undertaker.

Undertaker had known Kane all of his life, and despite their issues they have been a long reigning tag team on more than one occasion. He also knew Paul Bearer, and must have seen Kane unmasked at one point or another. This filled the martial artist with an almost overwhelming sense of determination.

If anyone would know the answers, Undertaker would.


	6. Chapter 6

Slow Chemical

Chapter 6

Standing before the Marriott hotel, Rob glanced down at the small paper in his hand. Hours before he had called Stephanie McMahon to ask her if she knew where the SmackDown wrestlers were staying before their show. Fortunately, she was surprisingly cooperative and even told him exactly which room Undertaker was staying in after RVD told her who he was looking for.

Room 126. It wasn't hard to find.

Yet, although the martial artist and Kane's brother stood only a door apart, Rob hesitated. In his quest to find the Undertaker, he never really thought about what he would say. He wasn't sure how to ask all of the questions that ran so frantically in his mind. While his theory had sounded so plausible, it was only a theory.

A theory without any proof.

Also, if his theory had been correct, and Undertaker did in fact know, why hadn't he said anything to Kane? Why would he allow his brother to live such a twisted lie?

A current of doubts rushed through his mind and stilled his hand, which was raised just a few inches above the door and ready to knock. Suddenly, the door began to open, as if on its own. Before the surprised Rob could do anything, he was face to face with an equally surprised Undertaker.

After a few seconds of stunned silence, Undertaker coughed. "Well? Aren't you going to explain why you're standing there?!"

RVD laughed nervously and raised one hand behind his head. This certainly wasn't how he hoped things would go. Despite the doubts that remained in the back of his mind, the martial artist couldn't go back now. "Hey, could I talk to you?"

The older man stepped back to allow the younger in. "Not givin' me much of a choice, there. Might as well. Come in."

Rob walked in, barely taking notice of the room's interior. "It's about Kane."

"Is he alright?" in Undertaker's voice Rob could barely detect the faintest hint of contained concern. It appeared that he, like Kane, also regarded emotions as weakness and therefore opted to show as little of them as possible.

"Yeah he's fine. He only had a concussion," the martial artist replied. "Uh, he probably would have liked to see you-"

"I didn't have time to come," Undertaker said defensively as he shut the door behind him. "And if this is the start of a lecture than this discussion is o-"

"No, that's not what I came here for!" Rob quickly responded with a vigorous shake of his head. "I wanted to ask you something about him."

"What is it, then?" the dead man asked, a tinge of annoyance in his voice. Kane was apparently a sensitive subject to discuss with him.

"Um…" Rob's hand trailed to the back of his neck nervously. "I'm not sure exactly how to word this. Uh, have you ever seen Kane without his mask?"

"You came all this way just to ask me something stupid like that?" Undertaker snapped. "If you're that curious-"

"It doesn't have to do with some morbid sense of curiosity!" RVD said defensively. "Isn't he supposed to be severely burned? Not just his face, but his entire body? Yet, with his new outfit and mask, if he was burned so severely wouldn't there be scars of some kind visible on his arm and face? Paul Bearer, Kane's father, wasn't he a terrible manipulator? I'm beginning to wonder if he could have, uh, altered Kane's memories? I wanted to ask you because you're the only one who would know."

There was a long pause. "You're very observant, kid, and I respect your concern. But you're getting into something that's over your head-"

"Please, tell me, Undertaker!" Rob cried. "You must know something!"

There was a long pause. Despite Undertaker's distanced relationship with his brother, he had always kept an eye on him by watching the Raw shows. He had witnessed the developing friendship between Kane and Rob, but had always figured that it would end the same as all of the others had. Yet now, looking into the determined hazel eyes of the martial artist, Mark was no longer so sure.

"…You really care 'bout my brother, don't ya?" He asked with a sigh. The martial artist nodded. "Many, many years ago I did accidentally start a fire that burned my family's house down. My parents died in that fire, and I was told that Kane had as well. That much of it is true. When he first arrived at the WWF as a little 'surprise' from Paul Bearer, you can imagine my shock."

Undertaker walked over to a small cooler that laid near the wall and pulled out a beer. Afterwards he sat down on the edge of the bed and took a sip.

"Anyway, when Paul had said that Kane was severely burned in the fire, I felt…err…responsible for what happened to him and wanted to make up for it. Of course, due to Paul's influence, my brother wanted nothing but my head on a platter. Finally, after a long dispute, for a while Kane and I were able to make amends. During that time I noticed that…some things about him that didn't make sense. He couldn't speak or write, and didn't seem to have a mind of his own, as if everything he thought and believed mirrored whatever bullshit the fat man fed him. Once I accidentally walked in his locker room while his mask had been off. I barely managed to survive the ordeal, but it was there I noticed that his face was not the dreadful thing I imagined it to be. In fact, he had no scars at all! For a while I thought that Kane had made it all up for sympathy purposes. It was long after he had betrayed me and went back to Paul, and his later relationship with Chyna and the corporation that I truly realized. Kane did not fake the scars to get attention. In his mind, those scars were as real as you and I…" Undertaker took another sip of beer, giving Rob time to allow this information to sink in.

"That's…awful…" RVD said softly. "How…?"

"After a while, I finally pieced together what I think happened," Undertaker replied. "Paul Bearer is quite a manipulative little bastard. Kane was in the house when it went up in flames, that I know for sure. He could have gotten burned, but not as severely as it was made out to be. Since our parents were dead and no one knew that he was alive, Paul likely took him and hid his existence from everyone else. My brother was so young at the time, and it was such a traumatic event…the fat man could have taken advantage of it all, dramatized the scars and made Kane believe anything he so wished. Since Kane had never interacted with anyone other than him for so many years, there was no one to tell him any different.

Rob's hands shook as his eyes stung from the news. "How could someone do that…to his own son!"

"Paul Bearer is the type who should be castrated before he ever reached maturity," Undertaker said casually as he took another sip. The nonchalance in the older man's voice both surprised and angered RVD. "Is that all you wanted to know?"

"If…you've known all this…why haven't you told Kane?!" the martial artist asked, his voice tinged with accusation. "If you haven't noticed, those imaginary scars have killed his confidence, as well as every relationship that anyone has ever tried to have with him! If he knew…"

"Think about it!" the older man snapped. "The vast majority of his life he had lived with Paul. Everything - his memories, his beliefs, his thoughts, his entire psyche, have been strongly influenced and controlled by that manipulative bastard. His entire identity is linked with the very scars that cripple him. If I told him, it would completely destroy everything he ever believed in."

"But everything he's ever believed in has been lies!" Rob cried.

"How would you like to know that everything you ever believed in has been lies?" Undertaker asked softly. "Besides, after all this time he probably wouldn't believe us, anyway," 

"I don't know about that…" RVD replied with a shake of his head. "He must have some kind of idea, or he wouldn't have altered his costume."

"Listen," the older man said, abruptly standing up. "Your heart's in the right place, but there is something that you need to understand. Kane has always been the loner type, and it's only a matter of time before your kindness comes back to bite you. You're a good kid. Unfortunately, there is no place in this world for good kids. Kane and I learned that a long time ago. So, with all due respect, I suggest that you stay away for your own safety."

The tone of Undertaker's voice aggravated the young martial artist. It was apparent that he, along with everyone else, had long ago given up on Kane.

After a long pause, RVD turned his back to leave. Yet, upon opening the door he glanced back one last time. "Thanks for your advice. I really do appreciate it, but…do you think that maybe, just maybe, Kane prefers solitude because he has never found a better alternative?"

Without waiting for an answer, the martial artist walked out.

__

Author's Notes: Sorry it took me so long to finish this chapter. I knew what I wanted to do, but stress had prevented me from writing any more. I know what I want to do for the next chapter, and it should be completed more quickly than this one had been. I'm glad you liked the story so far, and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. I know that Kane himself wasn't in the chapter at all (although he was the topic of discussion), but the next chapter will be primarily him. Finally, I know that physical description was severely lacking (like there's no real description of the hotel itself or the interior of Undertaker's room, or time of day, or anything like that). However, my focus in the story is the emotions of each character involved. I felt that if I wasted time with useless descriptions it would deter from the emotional impact. Nevertheless I'm not sure if the lack of physical descriptions gives the story a 'rushed' feel to it, as that is certainly not my intent. Anyway, I hope you liked it!


	7. Chapter 7

Slow Chemical

Chapter 7

What had occurred throughout the day, Kane really couldn't remember. He didn't care, either. His mind warred with conflict, and everything else was barely worth his consideration.

Rob was becoming increasingly important, and that scared him. If he allowed things to continue as they are…

The pain of the inevitable betrayal would be too much to bear.

Within his dominantly repressed memories, Kane could remember the first time he ever felt this attached - Katie Fick.

She was the only person other than his father that he ever associated with in his youth. Gentle, moderately shy, she took a liking to him even when he could not communicate that he felt the same way. To this day he didn't know if his adoration for her wasn't simply because she was the first person to ever care for him. Paul Bearer had always felt more like a master to him than a parent, and until then no one had ever bothered with him. Nevertheless, he loved her with an almost obsessive passion. Having never experienced love beforehand, he clung onto it with fierce desperation.

Paul Bearer regarded the relationship with acute animosity. He did everything in his power to split them apart, and even threatened to kill Katie if she didn't leave. Kane internally vowed to protect her, even if he had to stand against his father. It was the closest he had ever been to truly breaking away from the man who controlled him.

Katie Fick was the first to leave him. Even if she didn't leave him willingly, she was still the first. What made it worst was that he felt responsible for her death. Katie had tried to help him gain independence by teaching him how to drive and even helped him get a license. On that fateful night when they went to the party, Kane had obtained his license not even a month before. However, he didn't want to disappoint the girl to which he had grown such a fondness for and agreed to take her home in her car, even when he had no experience with a stick-shift.

Everything that night had gone so fast. The slick road, the animal, the crash…

He was later told that most of the events were repressed in his memory, much like most of his past and that was why he couldn't remember the details. Devastated, he immediately went back to Paul Bearer. Despite the cruel lifestyle that awaited him, Kane couldn't fathom the idea of being alone.

It didn't take long for Paul to revert Kane back to the mindless drone he had been beforehand.

As time elapsed, and Kane had been unleashed into the WWF, he began to develop interests in other people. This included a crush on Chyna. He greatly respected her abilities and when she offered him friendship he immediately jumped at the chance.

She was the first to betray him.

It was the first of a long series of betrayals, each one leaving deeper wounds.

Wounds that never fully healed.

X-Pac, the first person that he had ever considered a "best" friend. Sean had been the first to teach him how to speak, and had coaxed him into thinking for himself.

Tori was the second girl he ever fell in love with. Gentle, intelligent, before he had time to brace himself she immediately had his heart.

They all abandoned him in the end.

Each time he had always returned to his master, with every moment tearing down what remained of his self-esteem and developing mentality. Until Paul Bearer, too, had finally abandoned him.

No matter what he did, everything always ended the same - Betrayal.

It was then Kane vowed that he would never allow himself to be vulnerable. Too many times he had given his heart only to have it broken. Time and time again. 

As a result, afterwards Kane would occasionally ally himself with his brother, but whenever their relationship became close he distanced himself. Finally Undertaker, like everyone before him, gave up on him.

Bradshaw had been a safe relationship, as had been Hurricane, Booker T and Goldust. Never had their companionship became more than a friendly acquaintanceship. They hadn't asked for anything more than he was willing to give, and for that Kane had been grateful. He even acted on his developing crush on Terri by kissing her after a successful match with Hurricane. Even when he had kissed her, he never had expected her to return his affections. The fact that she did was an immense surprise, and for a very short time everything appeared to be looking up.

Kane even began to fathom the idea of trusting people again.

That was until his rivalry with Triple H re-opened all of his old, unhealed wounds.

Not wanting any of his 'acquaintances' to see him bleed, Kane immediately cut off contact with all of them. It had been so easy…as long as he did not allow himself to depend on them, their betrayal could not hurt him…

It was always better this way.

It was always safer this way.

So why was it so hard this time?

The big man couldn't help but wonder… Could it be possible…that Rob may not betray him?

Now Kane was sitting in his hotel room, the room bathed in darkness as night approached, and he wasn't even sure how he got there.

Everyone had always abandoned him in the end.

Was it worth the risk?

His relationship with Rob was becoming increasingly intimate. If they went any farther now, there would be no turning back. 

He had already become so attached. If Rob were to betray him...

It wasn't worth the risk.

He had to end it before the fated betrayal could occur.

Before he could be hurt again.

_It's better this way._ _It's better this way. It's better this way. _Over and over Kane repeated the explanation like a mantra. Yet no matter how much he tried, he could not dispel the horrible feeling that continued to gnaw at him…

__

Author's Notes: I hope you liked this chapter so far. I wanted this one to be mostly regarding Kane himself since the previous one didn't feature him at all. The next chapter will feature both, as well as the events of Raw. What will happen? You will soon see… cue cheesy music.


	8. Chapter 8

Slow Chemical

Chapter 8

Sitting in the locker room that he and his partner shared, Rob continuously glanced at the clock. Soon he and Kane were set to fight Triple H and Ric Flair in a tag team match, and his companion had yet to arrive.

Kane promised that he was going to be there.

He had promised!

Hearing the door open, RVD turned his head in that direction with the hope that it was his partner.

It was Eric Bischoff, "Your match is next. Get ready."

"What if Kane doesn't show up?" Rob asked.

"Then it is a handicap match."

Standing in the ring, facing the two who had jumped his partner just a week before, Rob felt a small twinge of apprehension. He could easily handle Ric Flair, and could even hold his own and perhaps even defeat HHH, but both simultaneously?

If that wasn't enough, neither were known for their honor.

Where could Kane be?!

Was it possible that his partner was so used to solitude that the thought of companionship was too much for him to bear?

Apparently it was.

Backstage, Kane watched the unfolding battle with a mixture of guilt and faked nonchalance. It was better this way. It was for Rob's own good, even.

This would help the martial artist realize that he was better off without the mentally challenged monster.

Yet, as he watched his partner get slammed against the mat by the overpowering Cerebral Assassin, Kane could not repress a stab of guilt.

"Kane!" a voice abruptly cried from behind. Startled, he turned to see Terri. "Where have you been?! You're supposed to be in the ring!"

The big man shook his head. "Rob is better off without me."

"Kane…" the small diva said, her voice softening. He turned to face her. "Rob needs you. He's been looking everywhere for you. Now, he's getting beaten down out in the ring because you're not there to help him! Why…do you always push everyone who cares about you away?"

"Terri…there are… things you don't understand…" the big man's voice was just above a whisper.

"Because you never let me…" Terri gently touched his arm. "I can only imagine how scary this must be for you, but if you keep running you will always be alone. Do you really want that?"

There was a long pause. How could she possibly understand?

How could anyone possibly understand?

This was one of the most difficult things he's ever had to do, and her words made it no easier.

What made things so much worse was that he couldn't determine whether or not this was the best solution. His mind was plagued with doubts that he couldn't dispel, as well as a nauseating pang of remorse.

Finally, the big man opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly a strangled cry emitted from the video. Kane turned to see his partner trapped in a leg lock with Ric Flair. Seeing his companion in pain brought a wave of inexplicable rage through him.

Even if their separation was for the best, he would be damned before he allowed them to hurt Rob any further.

"Go to him, Kane-" Terri began, but before she could finish he was already racing out the door and towards the ring.

The pain was almost too much for the martial artist to bear. He could feel the bones in his legs straining under the pressure, and could feel his resolve beginning to wane.

Many times he had reached for the ropes, and every time they were knocked away by the vicious Cerebral Assassin. There was no way he could defeat both of them. Determination alone prevented him from tapping and taking the easy way out.

Suddenly, a cry escaped Flair and the pain in the young man's legs eased dramatically. Weakly, he looked up at his savior to find Kane! The big man hurled Nature Boy over the ropes. Triple H immediately raced into the ring and charged at the larger man. Kane kicked him in the abdomen and as he doubled over grabbed his head. With a roar the Big Red Machine threw HHH over the ropes.

"K…Kane…" Rob murmured. He was immensely relieved, as well as a bit surprised.

Kane had come to protect him!

Ric Flair had just pushed himself onto his feet, using the ring for support, when Kane leaned over the ropes and grabbed him by his hair. With a vicious yank, he pulled the older man up.

The Nature Boy cried out painfully, grabbing onto the Big Red Machine's arm in order to ease the strain on his hair. "Please, h-have mercy! You don't want to hurt an innocent old man-"

Kane gripped his throat with an ungloved hand. "I'm not hurting an innocent old man!"

With that said, he choke slammed Ric Flair onto the mat. Rob Van Dam then exerted the rest of his strength by pushing himself up and crawling over to pin his adversary.

One. Two. Three.

They had won! Not only that, but Kane had kept his word!

"You came back…" Rob whispered weakly as his partner knelt down by his side.

"Are you alright?" The big man asked, his voice tinged with concern. The martial artist laughed.

"I am, now that you're here," he replied with another laugh. Afterwards RVD slid out of the ring under the ropes and landed lightly on his feet. Kane grabbed hold of the ropes and flipped backwards, landing with surprising grace next to his partner.

Looking up at the long distance between himself and the exit, Rob tested his injured leg by placing more weight on it. A bolt of pain shot through the weakened appendage, and he bit his lip from crying out. This was going to be a long walk.

Suddenly, the martial artist was literally swept off of his feet by his powerful companion. Lifting him up, Kane tilted his head towards the exit. "Your leg doesn't look good, Rob. We should probably try to put as little weight on it as possible."

Immensely surprised by his friend's sudden actions, RVD could only nod in response…

While the paramedics were examining RVD's leg, Kane snuck out of the room. Just outside, he listened to the doctors' diagnosis. Fortunately, although the bone was bruised, it was not broken. They stated that if Rob placed minimal weight on it, his injured leg would be fine in a few days.

That was all Kane needed to know. Before his resolve could waiver, the big man briskly walked out of the arena.

He felt guilty for deserting his partner yet again, but truly felt that it was for the best. At least Rob's injuries were minimal, and he would recover quickly. At least his abandonment would not leave his friend physically ravaged, as it could have if he had not stepped in during the previous match.

Abandonment…

_It was for the best._ Kane repeated those words like a mantra as his walk picked up into a sprint. He ran as fast as he could, not knowing where he was going at the same time not caring. Each step put him farther away from the arena, and from the person who was dangerously close to breaking the walls Kane had so carefully erected.

_It was for the best. _He would no longer be vulnerable to betrayal, and Rob would no longer have to put up with the drama. Both would benefit. _It was for the best._

No matter how many times he repeated the simple phrase, he could not will himself to believe it…

_"You failed me, Kane."_

The soft-spoken words frightened him more than if had it been a ear-shattering scream. So calm, so devoid of emotion, a simple statement that signified the horrible punishment that would soon follow.

"S…sor…" the child uttered, trying desperately to speak. In the back of his mind, he could vaguely remember a time when vocal communication was possible for him. Yet now it felt as if it was beyond his reach. His throat was so dry, his mentality so wrecked, he could barely coordinate his thoughts into something coherent, much less verbalize those thoughts.

"Don't bother," the old, heavyset man said. His voice was still painfully soft. "You can't speak. There's nothing you would have to say that's worth hearing, anyway. So stupid, and with such horrific scars, I'm the only one who would ever put up with you! After everything I've done for you, all I need is for you to competently obey orders. And you can't even do that!"

Kane couldn't even remember what exactly he had done to deserve his master's wrath. So careful he had been, so intent on following every command. Even when his psyche shriveled within the confines of his mind at the unspeakable acts he was forced into, he always obeyed his orders completely.

_Apparently he had done something wrong, or he wouldn't have been in this predicament. An unidentifiable feeling of nausea weighed at the pit of his stomach. He hated himself for angering his master, even when he didn't know what he had done to provoke it._

"You will have to be punished," the old man hissed, his voice taking a sinister edge. The child cringed in horror as his father grabbed onto his wrist and pulled him towards the basement…

Kane sat up abruptly, covered in a cold sweat. The room was silent except for his own labored breathing. Chills coursed through him, through the hands that clutched the blankets in a white-knuckled grasp.

He was in a small hotel room. The only light source came from the moon shining through a considerably large window. So empty, the interior of the room, as he had not bothered to decorate. So dark, the light barely shining through the grimy window sill. It looked so sickeningly familiar…

Shaking uncontrollably, he reached for a glass of water only to accidentally knock it down with a startling crash. Biting his bottom lip, he suddenly wished feverishly that Rob was there. So tenderhearted and playful, in a strange way the big man always felt safe with him. Nothing bad ever happened when they were together, and despite all difficulties they always persevered…

Kane shook his head to rid himself of the thought. The martial artist made him weak, vulnerable, and would only betray him in the end.

Just like everyone else.

He clenched both hands into fists, annoyed that he couldn't stop them from trembling.

_Besides, he didn't even know where Rob was._

But…Rob did have a cell phone. A phone that, except during his matches, he always kept with him…

Glancing at the clock, Kane immediately shook his head.

1:37am…

_It's too late to call._

Kane's hand hovered over the small cord phone that laid on the bedside table.

_Rob wouldn't want to speak to me anyway. _

Hearing a dial tone, Kane stared down at the dimly glowing buttons. Despite his internal dialog, he shakily began to punch in the numbers from memory.

_"How pathetic,"_ the big man sighed inwardly._ "Calling him because of some stupid nightmare."_

Yet, as he heard the phone ring on the other line, he could not will himself to hang up. Suddenly, a tired but characteristically cheerful voice erupted on the other line, "hullo?"

Kane's breath caught in his throat. Internally he berated himself for waking him up, and although he wanted to say something to explain his actions his mouth felt dry and refused to work.

"Hullo?" Despite the conflict Rob's gentle voice evoked, at the same time it brought him immense comfort. It made the nightmare seem so far away, barely at the edges of his awareness. "Hulllloooooo?"

"R-Rob…?" Kane immediately wished he hadn't responded. His voice sounded so weak, pathetic even. Yet he couldn't muster up anything stronger.

"Kane?!" Rob exclaimed. "Hey Champ! What's wrong?"

After abandoning him at the arena, Kane had expected him to be angry, or disappointed at least. Yet within his voice the big man found no traces of either.

"D…Did I wake you?" he asked softly.

"Don't worry 'bout it," Rob replied. "Are you ok? You don't sound good."

"How's your leg…?" Kane inquired, cradling the phone close to his ear.

"Oh, it's fine! Just got to be careful with it for the next few days." Rob answered with a laugh. There was a long pause. "Do you, uh, wanna come over? I got a TV here with cable, and we can make fun of the stupid late-night shows…"

"Sure…um…where are-"

"I'm at Comfort Inn, by Westshore…Room 275." RVD quickly responded.

"I think I know where that is," Kane said after a moment. "…I'll be there shortly."

Kane had kept his word, he had come to the match that they both were supposed to participate in. Rob had been worried that the Big Red Machine was not going to show up at all.

Yet, afterwards RVD wondered if his friend had come just to fulfill his promise, and never intended to return. As if, somehow, saving him had been his way of saying goodbye.

Needless to say, Kane's call had been an enormous relief. However, at the same time, the big man's tone of voice worried him. He sounded so…frightened, like a lost child. Wanting to see him, as well as remove him from whatever environment that was causing his current mental state, Rob invited him over. The martial artist never planned on taking no for an answer but, to his relief, his companion immediately agreed.

Hanging up the phone, Rob slumped back with a sigh.

Maybe, finally, he will be able to show Kane that, unlike everyone else, Rob wasn't going to give up on him…

As the two sat side-by-side on the small, single bed and made comments on the various nighttime programs, Rob watched his partner out of the corner of his eye. Whatever had bothered him earlier was still there. Although Kane tried forcibly to hide it, the martial artist noticed that both of his hands were shaking, as well as the anxious tone of his voice.

_When I was a kid, I was kept in the basement…_

Although it was dark, the big man still wore his mask.

_A mask that covered imaginary scars…_

He didn't seem to have a mind of his own…as if everything he thought and believed mirrored the bullshit the fat man fed him…

Rob shifted closer and placed one his hand on top of Kane's, drawing a strange look from the older man. "Hey…if there's anything you want to talk about, you can always talk to me, ok?"

There was a long, uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah, ok…" he answered nervously. RVD decided not to push the matter further. With a sigh, he tried to think of something they could do that would get his friend's mind off whatever was haunting him. Television didn't appear to be too effective.

"AHA!" the martial artist cried, jumping off of the bed and startling the hell out of his partner.

"What?! What is it?!" Kane exclaimed, but Rob didn't answer. Ignoring the painful protests of his injured leg, he raced to his bag and started fishing through it. Occasionally the younger man would throw a piece of clothing behind him in order to lighten his search.

"I'm positive I brought it…c'mon, I know it's there…" RVD muttered to himself. The Big Red Machine only watched him in blank puzzlement. "There it is!"

Whirling around to face his partner, the martial artist held out the object he had been searching for. Upon viewing it, Kane laughed hysterically, at one point even having to hold onto the edge of the bed for support.

They spent the following hours playing "Hungry Hungry Hippos"…

_Author's Notes: Why do I bother to fight it? It is like fighting against the forces of nature, against the currents of a river, against the hands of time. In other words, this fic will likely become slash. I hope that it does not deter any of you from reading further (although I highly doubt it - LoL), and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I may not be able to update for a little while, as I am moving out tomorrow and won't have access to this computer for at least a week or so. I'm also going to be starting work, and will not likely have time. However, I will keep up on this story. I never let my stories stay idle for long (it drives me crazy to have an incomplete story)._


	9. Chapter 9

Slow Chemical

Chapter 9

With the power that came with his rank, it should have been so easy.

So long he had fought, so long he had kissed the asses of the deranged hierarchy to possess this rank. Now that he had it, everything else should fall into his lap. It was owed to him.

Yet, standing amidst the empty locker rooms, all Chief Morley could ask was "Why?"

Why, with all of his power and the lackeys that helped him, he still could not retrieve the Tag Team Championship belts that so rightfully belonged to him?! What could he possibly be doing wrong?! Why does prosperity continue to elude him?! The silent walls provided no answer.

Chief Morley knew well of Bischoff's abuse of power. In fact he shared in it, benefited from it. He knew of his superior's plans to take control of WWE to the point of guiding the actions of each individual wrestler. In fact, it was Morley himself who had helped with the details of such plans. First, with the forced allegiance of the Dudleys, then the alliance with Triple H and Ric Flair, it was all part of their well-crafted plan.

Everything was going so well, until Kane and Rob Van Dam had to screw everything up. The two were supposed to lose that match so long ago, and swear allegiance to the Bischoff foundation just as the Dudleys had. Why, how did things go so terribly wrong? Not only had they managed to avoid enslavement and win the belts, but they also managed to retain the belts despite Lance and Morley's best attempts at cheating. What made matters worse was that Kane and RVD were not the only wrestlers who fought against the inevitable. Booker T, Hurricane, Kevin Nash…while none of their efforts proved as devastating as the aforementioned, they were still quite formidable. The Bischoff administration had hit a standstill, and its founder was growing impatient. The former porn star was running out of options.

"You are aiming at the wrong target," a voice startled Morley out of his thoughts. He whirled around to face the intruder, yet in the darkness he found nothing. The voice was vaguely familiar, but one that the chairman could not identify.

"Who's there?" he growled, angry that someone dared to intrude. "and what are you talking about?!"

"I have been watching you, among others, for a long time. I am well aware of your continued failure. Your pathetic attempts at cheating have been laughable, yet ultimately futile." the voice was so soft it was barely audible. The cold accusation angered Morley almost to the point of rage.

"Identify yourself!" Morley roared. A mysterious figure stepped into the doorway, silhouetted by the light. The man was short, fat and immediately recognized. Yet the knowledge shocked the chairman to the point of silence.

"Kane and Rob Van Dam are too formidable to be defeated by physical means. Even if you do manage to overpower them, there are others who could potentially come to their aid if only to prevent your success. If you wish to break away from this rut of failure, understand this. Kane's power lies entirely in his physical prowess. He is psychologically weak and, as a result, easy to conquer. Once he is destroyed, the other will be sure to follow…" the silhouette's tone held a sadistic edge that both excited and frightened Morley. "It would be wise to enlist my help, and at the same time keep this alliance secret."

"I… understand…" the chairman answered. 

"Excellent," the silhouette said as he turned and began to walk away. "Come and we will discuss this matter further." 

"Yet…" Hearing the uncertain tone in his voice, the figure stopped and turned to face Morley again. "…why would you help us? Why would you do this to your own son?"

There was a moment of silence.

"It is time for Kane to come home."

__

Author's Notes: I know this chapter does not follow the format of the others. For the most part I have kept it so that you know only what Kane and RVD know. Yet, for this chapter I wanted to accomplish two things 1) foreshadow upcoming events, and 2) end it with a creepy "uh oh, the shit is about to hit the fan" feeling. I hope that both were accomplished to your satisfaction and that it manages to stay on par with the previous chapters. Sorry for the lengthy wait, and thank you for your patience. :D On my web page I created a little banner-esque thing for Slow Chemical. (It is a ying-yang on fire) I tried to create a cover page like I had for the others, but have met much difficulty. As a result, that is the best I could come up with for now. I hope you like it. :D 


	10. Chapter 10 His Master's Voice

Slow Chemical

Chapter 10 - His Master's Voice

All of his life, Kane had waited, strived, yearned for companionship. All of his life he had watched others walking, shopping, playing, -living- as if a social existence was not above them. He watched them, tried to emulate them, tried to -be- like them, all of that time hoping that someone will notice. He hoped that, if he tried hard enough, someone would care about him, maybe even love him.

All of those nights he sat alone in the cold, damp and empty basement, wondering what others had that he so lacked.

His master had plenty of answers.

_You dare to think that you are capable of a normal existence?_

_You dare to think that anyone would care about a scarred, wretched monster like you?!_

Years after his master's abandonment and several betrayals later, Kane had finally come to the conclusion that Paul Bearer was right. He even had come to accept it.

Yet, a certain martial artist compelled him to question this conclusion.

"Ready to kick some ass tonight, Champ?" Rob's cheerful voice broke the big man from his thoughts. The two stood before the RAW arena's back entrance, and the show was just about to start.

Throughout the past week, the duo had hung out…not beat up numerous foes…not question each other's motives or intentions…just hung out. The long drive to the current RAW arena, the fast food restaurants with their greasy burgers and cold fries, the cheesy B movie they went to see when they were tired of the car ride…it was the longest Kane had ever spent with another other than his master. Even with X-Pac, Tori and his own brother, the big man avoided lengthy social activity. Despite his desperate want for companionship, it was matched by an overpowering fear. He wasn't sure whether it was change, or the powerlessness that came with friendship that he feared? Perhaps on some subconscious level he suspected the betrayals that had been so soon to come. Kane didn't know.

During the week they learned such minute and useless information about each other…such as Rob's strange habit of singing car songs during long drives with a voice that would never sell albums, and the funky dances Kane would perform after winning a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos…yet every moment pushed the doubts, the nightmares, the fears further and further away. Nevertheless, the big man couldn't help but wonder…why did RVD put up with him? Why did the martial artist stay so steadfast by his partner's side despite the drama that ensued?

Turning to face his partner, Kane pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind, shifted the bag he carried over his shoulder and grinned. "Born ready."

"Alright!" RVD marched confidently into the arena. The Big Red Machine walked silently in after him.

_Why do I even put up with you?_

Horrendously disfigured wretch.

Worthless.

Stupid.

His master had reminded him time after time that it was pity alone that gave him a roof over his head at all. Time after time, he had been told that he was not worth compassion, or love. After hearing it so many times, even so many years after their separation Kane was compelled to believe it. 

Yet, the events of this past week forced him to wonder…

Perhaps he was worth it after all.

Only Rob Van Dam was scheduled a match that night, against Lance Storm. The stipulation was that no one could interfere - neither Kane nor Morley were even allowed to accompany their partners into the ring. Despite his injury from the previous week, RVD was still much more experienced and skilled than Lance so the stipulation would work in the martial artist's favor. It sounded too easy, and Kane was immediately suspicious. They have had quite a conflict with Lance and Morley, and Eric Bischoff was known for his favoritism. Fairness wasn't within the man's character. However, Kane didn't want to jeopardize his partner's match by testing the rules. So when Rob's music began to play and he walked out to the ring, he immediately retreated into the backroom where he could watch the entire match through the television screen.

If they decided to play dirty and try to hurt RVD during or after the match, the Big Red Machine was ready to make himself involved.

What Kane failed to realize was that he, not Rob, was the target.

With a spinning heel kick to his temple, Lance reared back against the ropes and held onto them to steady himself.

Rob grinned mischievously, making a quick glance around the ring to make sure that none of his antagonist's "buddies" were hiding somewhere. Unfortunately for Lance, there was no one in sight.

Perhaps Eric Bischoff somehow grew a conscience since last week and decided to play fair for once?

Lance charged forward and rammed his shoulder into Rob's abdomen. When the martial artist doubled over in pain, the smaller man took the opportunity for a suplex. Afterwards the former tag champion immediately went for the pin. RVD immediately kicked out, before the referee even had a chance to start the count. He flipped onto his feet with amazing grace. The injury from the previous week had almost completely healed, and his foot no longer protested to the weight he placed on it.

Even if Lance's buddies decided to interfere, Rob knew he could fight them off. Even if he was overwhelmed, he could count on Kane to come to his aid. With a confident smile, he charged at his enemy, focusing all of his energy entirely on this match…

Intently Kane watched the ongoing fight. As time elapsed and Rob was making his superior abilities known, the big man noticed that Lance was being abnormally defensive. Surprisingly, he didn't cheat or try any dirty tricks. Yet, at the same time, it didn't look as if he was trying to win as he barely attacked Rob at all. It was…as if he was preserving his strength, as if trying to stretch the length of the match as long as possible…

Suddenly, a loud crash snapped Kane from his thoughts. The Big Red Machine whirled around to see boxes strewn about him, yet there was no one else there. Whoever it was apparently had not wanted to catch the big man's attention.

It was too late for that.

With a growl, he stormed out of the room and looked around. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone rush into a room down the hall and shut the door. Kane walked to the door and pushed it open. The room appeared dark, the only light source coming from behind him. He took a few steps inside, feeling along the wall for a switch, when the door behind him abruptly slammed shut and he was enveloped in darkness.

A feeling of dread gnawed at the pit of his stomach and immediately he raced to the door and tried to push it open. It was locked. While it wouldn't hold long against his massive strength, something about this room only strengthened his increasing dread. At that point, his eyes had already begun to adjust, and a morbid sense of curiosity compelled Kane to look over the room. 

The area was almost completely empty. There were no windows, no lights, no decor. Along the walls were chains and there were what appeared to be empty, rusted cans strewn about the floor. The numbing chill refused to dissipate, instead it strengthened. The view conjured a strange feeling of deja-vu, as if he had been there before. However, this was only the second time he had ever been to this particular arena and he didn't recall ever being in this specific room.

It was then Kane realized that the room itself was not what tugged at the edges of his memory. It was the layout…the chains, the darkness, the emptiness…it was so terribly familiar…

A whisper, so low that Kane wondered if it had been there the entire time and only now had he noticed it, echoed throughout the room. It sounded as if it came from an intercom, but the echoes it left behind rendered it impossible find the source. He strained his ears, trying to discern the voice and the words.

His eyes widened as recognition filled him with horror.

It was…

…his master's voice…

It said…

"…come home…"

__

Author's Notes: I've been working at this chapter fairly hard for the last few days. I've been a bit worried about over-dramatization. This chapter is supposed to be fairly emotional (although the upcoming chapters will be the most emotional), and I tried to be careful not to overdo it. Thank you for waiting, and I hope that this chapter has lived up to your expectations. ;D 


	11. Chapter 11 Forever Descending

Slow Chemical

Chapter 11 - Forever Descending

One.

Two.

Three.

Pushing himself onto his feet and performing his familiar taunts, Rob's cheerful actions properly disguised his growing apprehension. This match had been easy.

Too easy.

Walking up the ramp and behind the titantron, he glanced around for Triple H, or Morley, or someone. He found nothing. Walking into his locker room, he looked for his partner, who was also nowhere to be found.

Could Morley and Lance possibly have realized that their shameful tactics were futile? Could they finally have dropped their obsessive disdain for them and focus their vengeance elsewhere? Rob had a bad feeling that this was not the case. That also did not explain why Kane was missing…

A gasp escaped RVD as he realized that he may not have been the focus of their dirty tricks. Could they have been after Kane instead?

With that in mind, the martial artist raced out of the locker room and began looking. His search quickly and abruptly ended when he saw Hurricane and Terri standing near a closed door. The hallway was otherwise empty. The diva looked frightened, and the super hero's face wore an expression of determination.

"What's going on?" Rob asked as he neared the two. A loud crash erupted from the door, as if there was a caged monster inside trying to get out.

Terri stepped back when another bang resounded. "I saw Kane go inside and thought nothing of it. I was walking away when I heard the door slam shut. I thought Kane had left, but then I heard banging on the door. I tried to open it, but it was locked…"

"Did you see who did it?" RVD questioned. Terri shook her head.

"I'm going to kick it down," Hurricane suddenly declared. 

"Wait, Greg-" Terri's words fell on deaf ears. Taking a deep breath, the superhero stepped forward and prepared to kick the door. Suddenly, the door swung forward so quickly that the small man barely had time to dodge. A loud bang resounded as it slammed into the wall and fell off of its hinges. Standing just under the doorframe was Kane.

The trio was compelled to stagger back at the sight. Even under normal circumstances the Big Red Machine looked intimidating. Glaring down at them, his eyes wide and his chest heaving, he looked downright terrifying…like a cornered animal ready to attack. Terri and even the brave Hurricane backed away in fear. Rob, however, stepped forward.

"Are you ok? What happened?" RVD asked, worry softening his tone. Kane was not the type to be spooked easily, and he had a feeling that there was more to it than meets the eye. The big man said nothing. Instead, he simply brushed past him and stormed down the hall. Although he had just been staring down at them, it was if he hadn't noticed the three at all. "Kane?"

_Come home…_

Come home…

Although he was finally out of the room, the words repeated in his mind like a terrible mantra. He had to get away.

Kane didn't want to go back. Never wanted to go back.

Yet…if his master did return, would he be able to resist?

_Free will is an illusion…_

As much as he feared, dreaded, hated the inevitable outcome, at the same time Kane was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. He loathed his master, yet he was compelled to return to his side. Just like all of the years before, whenever Kane ever tried to leave the outcome was always the same. Why would this time be any different?

Suddenly, Kane felt someone grab onto his arm. Acting only on instinct, he swung his captive arm in a quick arc and pulled it out of his enemy's grasp. Then, with his other hand he gripped his attacker by the throat. Glaring into his opponent's eyes, his own eyes widened upon realizing it was Rob.

The martial artist's lips moved, but trapped in his turmoil of horror and confusion Kane could not decipher the words. Immediately the big man released his grip and staggered back. 

_No one will ever care for a scarred, wretched freak like you…_

Rob… the only real, true friend… he ever had…

Why…do you always push everyone who cares about you away…?

Come home…

Kane staggered back, one hand trailing to his temple. It hurt to think. His master had told him once that his purpose was not to think. His purpose was to destroy, and that was the one thing he did well.

Too well.

Vaguely he noticed RVD reach forward as if to touch him. Backing away as if his approaching partner had been a wall of fire, Kane turned and began to run blindly down the halls. His body acting on its own accord, he pushed aside any who stood in his way and somehow managed to find his way out of the arena and into the parking lot.

_Come home…_

His master's voice.

He didn't want to go back.

He wanted to stay…

…with Rob.

Inevitable.

Free will is an illusion.

Kane didn't remember finding the rental car that he and his partner had shared, but somehow he must have…for at the moment he was frantically turning the key in the ignition and pulling out of the parking spot. 

_He had to get away._

Maybe, if he ran fast enough, he could outrun his master.

Maybe…he could finally be free.

Free will is an illusion.

As he drove just out of the parking lot, something caught his eye. Glancing to the object of his attention, what met his gaze made his blood run cold.

__

A car accident. A red 1992 Dodge was crashed into a tree. The windshield was cracked and the entire front of the car was crushed…

Red 1992 Dodge…

Ohio license plate…

__

"You're…drunk… Katie…I …should… drive… you… home."

Even with that dreadful robotic tone of the artificial voice box, she looked pleased to hear him speak.

"You worry too much, Kane! You can drive me home if you want, but you gotta take my car, ok? I just got it a month ago and I don't want it to get stolen."

Red 1992 Dodge

Ohio license plate

_Katie was the first person…who cared…_

_Your purpose is to destroy…_

It was the one thing he did well.

Too well.

Even to those he loved.

_Free will is an illusion._

Staring at the accident in concentrated horror, Kane did not think to stop the car or look to the road ahead. He never noticed steering off the road or the massive oak tree that stood in his path, until it was too late…

"Kane, wait!" Rob cried as he ran briskly down the hall, trying to catch up with his partner.. The martial artist was almost sick with worry. Kane had never looked so…lost, frightened. Something had happened. Something terrible.

And RVD had no idea what it was.

Under normal circumstances, the big man was slow and easy to follow. Yet, now, Kane moved faster than he ever had, and Rob was trying desperately to keep up.

"Kane!" faintly he could hear Hurricane and Terri from behind. They, like Rob, were trying to catch up but found themselves falling further and further behind.

What could possibly have happened? Only this morning they had been driving, joking, laughing. It was the closest to genuine bliss that Kane had ever appeared to be…

Running into the parking lot, the martial artist saw the rental car pulling out. "No!"

Hurricane was next to arrive, with Terri right behind him. "We'll take the hurricycle."

Before Rob had a chance to question, the superhero immediately raced to a large, green motorcycle and jumped on. "C'mon, quickly. Before we lose him!"

With a nod, the martial artist immediately climbed on behind him, followed by Terri. Without another word, Greg kicked the stand back and sped off in the direction Kane had left. They had just exited the parking lot, when…

"Oh my God! Guys, look!" Terri cried, gesturing. RVD glanced over to see a red car crashed against a massive tree.

"That's not our car…" Rob said, horrified at the sight but at the same time relieved that it wasn't Kane.

"Damn…we got to check and make sure no one's trapped inside…" Greg stated solemnly as he pulled off of the road. "I'll drop you two off here. While you check the car, I'm gonna go try to catch up with Kane."

"Right," the martial artist said as he and the diva immediately jumped off. Afterwards, Hurricane pulled back onto the road and continued his way. Rob and Terri ran to the car and examined it for anyone who could be injured or trapped inside. To both of their shock and surprise, the car was empty. In fact, there were no signs that anyone had been inside at all. No scattered belongings, no blood, no décor…

"I think…" Terri suddenly whispered. "I think… this was some kind of sick joke..."

Stepping away from the car, RVD wiped the back of his arm across his forehead. "Who would pull something like this?!"

"Rob! Terri!" a sudden cry pulled both from their thoughts. The duo turned to see that Hurricane had returned. Pulled off to the side of the road once again and still on his motorcycle, the superhero wore an expression of panic. "Come quick!"

"What? What is it?!" Rob asked, his worry escalating at the sound of Greg's frightened tone.

"There's another accident down the road," the superhero's voice trembled with horror, "It's Kane!"

__

Author's Notes: Bwahaha. What an evil, evil place to leave off. Unfortunately that was also the best place I could think of. This chapter was difficult at first, but as time went on it felt almost as if it was writing itself. It was quite an emotionally charged chapter, as will the next one especially be. I hope you liked this chapter, and I will work on the next one as soon as possible! :D


	12. Chapter 12

Slow Chemical

Chapter 12

Standing at the driver's side of the smashed up rental car, Rob frantically looked inside and found, to his relief and horror, no one. There was a small crack on the windshield and there were specks of blood on the steering wheel and on the driver's seat, but no Kane.

No Kane…

"He's injured! We have to find him!" the martial artist cried, his voice bordering on hysteria. "Where could he have gone?!"

"Hey, calm down…" Hurricane said from his place next to the passenger side, trying to keep his voice steady. "He can't be _that_ injured… or he wouldn't have been able to get out of the car…"

RVD gestured to the blood on the steering wheel. "This didn't come with the car when we rented it!"

"Look, if he's injured, he couldn't have gone that far!" Terri suddenly stated, glancing around.

"Kane!" Rob cried, pushing himself away from the car and walking around. In the darkness he could barely see anything. There were no streetlamps, no lighting except from the moon, which provided very little light at all. The superhero and diva aided him in his search, but, to their chagrin, the trio found nothing…

His master had returned.

He wanted to resist. 

He wanted to get away.

He wanted to _live_. With his partner. With Rob.

It was futile to resist.

Free will is an illusion.

Anybody he ever cared about always left him in the end. Mom. Dad. Brother. X-Pac. Tori. Katie…

The crushed Dodge burned in his memory, Kane began to understand.

Perhaps X-Pac, Mark and Tori had abandoned him because they knew…

Knew that he was capable of only destruction.

Katie was proof of that.

He had tried so hard to push Rob away. The martial artist had always remained so steadfast by his side…He dared to believe in Kane, and in return Kane had begun to believe…Unfortunately, reality was quick to remind him that a normal life was impossible.

Perhaps it was for the best.

Perhaps in trying to befriend the big man, Rob was heading towards his own destruction.

He cared about Rob, more than he thought himself capable of.

Rob cared about him…more than he thought anyone would.

Kane didn't want to go back to the hellish life that he thought he had abandoned. He didn't want to leave the solace of his companion's friendship, and the growing confidence that was beginning to develop with it. Yet, while the big man held no love for his master, he felt compelled to return to his side. Like a slave who knew nothing of a world of freedom, it was almost impossible for him to imagine a life different from the one free of his master's influence. It was just like every other time.

No, this time was different.

This time, his master had abandoned him. Abandoned him to a world that was almost as horrible as the one his master had provided. Almost.

In this terrible world Kane finally had found the companionship he had yearned for so long. For once, he had allowed himself to wonder if the life that he had strived for was finally within his grasp. To return to his master side would be to abandon the dream, forever. Could he really do that? When he was so close?

So close to solace?

Yet, could he fight against the inevitable?

What if…he did succeed in breaking away from his master…only to have Rob abandon him in the end?

Although his master promised only ruin, it was better than being completely alone.

Wasn't it?

Kane didn't know. 

Sitting solemnly in his hotel room, Rob held his head in his hands. It was 3 AM, two days after their futile search. They had found nothing. Nothing.

Kane could be dead. They didn't know.

No one knew.

He was injured, where could he possibly have gone?

Terri had contacted all of the hospitals in that city and told them of the situation.

"We will call you as soon as he comes in," they had told her. Rob shook his head. Kane was not going to come. He hated hospitals, and was not in a mind state to think logically. He could be anywhere. _Anywhere._

Ever since then he barely slept, and kept his cell phone with him at all times incase Kane decided to call. Glancing down at the small phone in his hands, the martial artist sighed.

Where are you, Kane?

He didn't know.

No one knew.

Sitting in a bus, leaning back against the seat, Kane sat silently. He didn't remember when or why he got on in the first place, or even how he got there to begin with. However, when the driver announced that they were heading towards Tallahassee, Kane glanced down at the paper in his hands. It was the paper that listed the location of all RAW's and paperviews for that year. The next RAW was in Tallahassee, so he was heading in the right direction.

Was he going there to return to his master?

Or to return to Rob?

He didn't know.

His mind felt numb, it hurt to think.

His body felt as if it had been, and still was, operating on autopilot.

A sudden laugh drew a stare from the others riding on the bus, but Kane didn't care. How ironic, his master had conditioned him so severely that he was almost invincible to physical trauma. What his master did not know, or perhaps he did, was that emotional stress had its way of taking a physical toll. It makes one do strange things, such as causing or ignoring physical ailments and necessities such as food or sleep, or even fulfilling these necessities without actually realizing it. It makes one eat a full-course meal, and an hour later wonder if he or she had eaten anything at all.

Another laugh drew even more stares, still Kane didn't care. He was getting philosophical, and in his mental state he couldn't even understand what point he was internally trying to make. It reminded him of the mental banter he would engage during his long and tortured nights in the basement, but the memory only brought him a vague discomfort. Pressing his fevered temple against the cold window, exhaustion began to wear at his senses. How long has it been since he slept? No matter how much he tried, the nightmares that stayed at the edges of his awareness had kept him awake. Glancing down at the paper in his hand, Kane vaguely noted the cuts and bruises on his arm. There were others concealed by his sweatshirt and pants.

Where had he gotten them from? He couldn't remember.

As exhaustion pulled him forcefully into unconsciousness, his eyes focused one last time on the paper.

He couldn't remember when or how he had found this bus, but he knew that, even unconsciously, he was being drawn to Tallahassee.

The location of the next RAW.

Where Rob, and his master, would be.

What did he plan to do once he got there?

He didn't know.

Standing with his back against the wall in the main locker room, Rob was consumed with worry. There had been no sign of Kane.

Terri and Greg had tried their best to cheer him up, but at this point the number of explanations the two could come up with were dwindling.

The three could only hope that the big man somehow found his way to this arena.

"Rob Van Dam," Eric Bischoff's calm voice emitted from the doorway. The three turned to regard him. "You're scheduled a match tonight against Triple H."

RVD sighed. He knew that, in his current state, he would not be able to defeat the Cerebral Assassin. But he had no choice. "Alright."

Throughout the brutal match, the martial artist found himself unable to focus. He was tired and sick with worry, and as a result was easily defeated by his monstrous opponent. Rob didn't care. He just wanted this match over and done with as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, Triple H had other plans. Even after the match was over, he and the Nature Boy began to beat up on RVD. Although he tried to fight back, he was too tired and weak to get away.

He slammed heavily onto the mat from a harsh blow to his temple. Rob tried to get back up, but his body lacked the necessary energy. With a savage grin, Triple H grabbed his opponent by his hair when suddenly the pyros set around the ring erupted in flames. Startled, the Cerebral Assassin dropped his prey and staggered back.

RVD looked to the titantron with a gasp as the familiar music began to play.

Was he dreaming?

Could it be?

It was!

Kane… 

__

Author's Note: I may not be able to update for about two weeks or so. I hope this chapter will be able to hold you til then. =D It's really late and time to go to bed. Nighty night all, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	13. Chapter 13 Free Will is an Illusion

__

Something funky happened when I tried to post this chapter yesterday. It now tells me that I have 14 chapters posted and this chapter didn't come up at all. So, I'm posting it again and if it says I have 15 chapters posted but it only looks like I have 13 chapters, don't worry. My account's just having issues. Now on with the fic!

****

Slow Chemical

Chapter 13 - Free Will is an Illusion

Paralyzed by a whirlwind of emotions, Rob could only watch from his place on the mat as his partner neared the ring. Excitement coursed through him at Kane's return…but his physical state also consumed the martial artist with worry. The big man looked absolutely wrecked. He was unshaven, his hair was matted, with partially healed cuts and bruises scattered around his chest and arms - likely indicators of his involvement in the car crash just a week before.

Triple H staggered back, also appearing to be surprised and unnerved by Kane's unexpected arrival. However, the Cerebral Assassin had very little time to react, as his antagonist wasted none getting into the ring. The big man lunged forward and grabbed him by the shoulders. Hunter struggled feverishly, but to no avail. Kane shoved him into the ropes, and when the smaller man bounced back, he caught his enemy in a clothesline. Triple H fell back heavily onto the mat, a loud thud resonating from the impact.

As the Cerebral Assassin tried to climb back onto his feet, the larger man caught him by his hair. With a primitive growl, the Big Red Machine hurled Triple H over the ropes. A loud thud and a cry of pain resounded as Hunter tumbled onto the floor, landing on his head and shoulders.

Silently, Kane turned to regard the Nature Boy, who up until that moment had been standing frozen near one of the turnbuckles. Looking into the big man's blazing eyes finally broke the old man from his paralysis. Unfortunately, it was too late. Before he could get away, Ric Flair was caught in a menacing double-handed chokehold. He was lifted high into the air by his throat, his struggles useless against his enemy's superior strength. Instead of slamming him down, Kane simply held him in the air, his fingers tightening. Weakening gasps escaped the Nature Boy as his windpipe began to crush under the pressure…

Entering the ring, Kane had but one purpose - to make those who dared to hurt Rob suffer. The big man remembered very little of the previous week, as his mind had been wracked with turmoil. He didn't know what was going to happen tomorrow, or in the next hour or even the next minute. All he cared about was that his partner, his friend was in trouble. And those involved were going to pay.

However, as he felt his fingers close around the old man's throat, and lifted him effortlessly into the air, everything else was forgotten. The screaming crowd, Rob, Triple H, everything. At that moment, looking into the wide, fearful eyes of the squirming Ric Flair, everything finally began to make sense.

His sole purpose was to destroy.

His entire existence revolved around that one pre-determined role.

Even if not directly by his hand, everything around him was always decimated.

Throughout his life, despite the many setbacks, Kane still dared to believe that he could change Fate. He dared to think that he could be more than the monster everyone thought him to be. He even dared to dream that he could love, and be loved in return.

He had been a fool then.

Now he understood what it that his master and everyone else had been trying to teach him. He was nothing but a tool.

A tool for destruction.

With childish glee Kane watched the old man writhe under his tightening grasp, anticipating a loud crack that would signify the death of his victim. Something in the back of the big man's mind told him that this was going too far… 

Kane pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. Finally, everything was becoming so clear, the answers finally within his grasp. He didn't want -anything- to ruin the moment. 

Ric Flair's weakened gasps were music to his ears.

The blood beginning to gather like a crimson foam in the old man's mouth was a sight to behold! 

Yes, destruction was the one thing he did well!

"Kane!" Rob suddenly cried, finally finding the strength to push himself onto his feet. As if startled by the sound, the big man dropped Ric Flair, who fell onto his hands and knees. Kane slowly turned to look at his partner. His eyes were wide, as if he just realized the terrible act he had almost committed. The martial artist slowly approached, looking over him and the carnage he caused. Triple H had pushed himself weakly onto his feet, but remained near the wall that separated the audience and the battleground. Ric Flair had crawled away from them, slid under the ropes and out of the ring, wiping the blood from his mouth and attempting to catch his breath. In the midst of the moment, although the arena roared with the cheering approval of the fans, their screams were unheard. There was a long moment of silence as RVD stopped just before his partner and once again met his gaze. "Oh man…Kane, what's happened to you…?"

There was another moment of silence. The big man stood still, but averted his gaze. His gloved hand slowly clenched and unclenched. On that arm was a large cut that ran from the top of his wrist almost to his elbow, it was one of the many injuries scattered across his battered body. 

Kane's odd behavior…the car accident…his disappearance…

If Rob had not stopped him, he would have _killed_ Ric Flair.

This was not the Kane that carried him so tenderly to the back of the arena when his ankle was twisted. This was not the Kane that played Hungry Hungry Hippos, that listened to his terrible singing, that fought by his side for so long. Yes, he was capable of immense destruction, but never had he taken it that far. Never.

What had caused all of this?

Rob didn't know. What he did know was the expression of shame and confusion that his companion wore just as physically as the mask that covered his features.

What he also knew was that, although the big man apparently had wanted to bear the burden of whatever did happen alone, it was no longer a possibility.

Kane's malady had become his as well.

Suddenly, Rob stepped forward and hugged his partner around the waist. 

"Don't…Don't ever do that again…!" RVD's voice was strained. "You… really had me worried…"

The sound of his partner's voice had dispelled the fog of rage that had threatened to consume him. Horrified of the terrible act that he had been about to commit, Kane dropped Ric Flair and turned to look at his partner. 

What had he become?!

The moment he had the Nature Boy writhing in his grip, heaving and choking on his own blood, felt so agonizingly familiar…

…familiar to the unspeakable acts he had been forced to commit under his master's orders. Over the years Kane had slowly numbed to the point of developing a sadistic glee in the carnage he would wreak. Having no control of his own life, the power of granting death was intoxicating.

Only when he was cradling the shattered husk of the first person he ever loved, in the decimated 1992 Dodge with the Ohio license plate, did he truly understand the pain of loss.

It was then he vowed that under no circumstances would he ever do something so horrendous. Even during all of the times he had returned to his master, never had he forgotten his promise…

"Oh man…Kane, what's happened to you…?"

He couldn't bear to look into his partner's eyes and was forced to avert his gaze.

Now, RVD would finally see…

Everyone had been right all along.

Kane was nothing more than a tool. A soulless object undeserving of attachment.

Feeling Rob's arms suddenly around his waist shocked the big man from his thoughts. 

"Don't…Don't ever do that again…! You… really had me worried…"

Kane looked down at his companion, surprised and deeply touched at the motion.

Rob _knew_ what he was truly getting into…why did he stay…?

With his skills, friendly attitude and handsome features, the martial artist could have _anyone_ he wanted. What was it that he saw in Kane…that made him stay when anyone else would have been long gone? 

Slowly the big man returned his friend's embrace.

As reality twisted around him, Rob's presence was the one source of stability he could cling to. He wanted to say something, the martial artist deserved some kind of explanation. Kane tried to find his voice, but being unable to, could only tighten his clasp. The two stood silently in the center of the ring, oblivious to the cheers and boo's of the spectators…

Suddenly, the lights darkened and a strange, unfamiliar music began to play.

Rob let go of his partner and turned to look at the ramp. No one came out, but after a few seconds, the music's volume lowered and the room was illuminated by the titantron. Displayed on the large monitor was an old, fat man that the martial artist could not identify.

RVD glanced over at Kane, wondering if he could identify the stranger on the titantron, and was surprised to see a look of sheer terror on his face. The old man, with his pale complexion and heavyset body, would never be a match for the Big Red Machine.

"Kane…" Rob whispered. "Who is that?"

The big man didn't answer.

"Kane," the martial artist winced at the painfully shrill tone of the old man's voice. "So glad that you still remember me after all this time! How have you been? You do not look so good. You have become weak in my absence. What has happened to the monster that I created?"

The words that the old man spoke…the look on Kane's face…

RVD gasped as realization hit him like a physical blow.

_That old man was Paul Bearer!_

"Maybe now you understand that you cannot survive without me. Or, perhaps you don't…perhaps you need some more persuasion. Well, I've talked to Eric Bischoff, and on Bad Blood this Sunday, you're going to fight Triple H for the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship belt. The stipulation is that when you lose, you will be mine again. It's time to come home, Kane, you've been away much too long. I look forward to our upcoming encounter." The sadistic smile on that blubbery face, compounded with the soulless, onyx pools, sent chills down Rob's spine.

The monitor shut off, the lights came back on. As abruptly as the old man was there, he was gone…

__

Author's Notes: Sorry this chapter took such a long time. Between work, family issues and a pathetic attempt at a social life, I have been left with little extra time to work on my fan fiction and fan art. Also, I hit a wall of writer's block and it took a little time to scale it. The next chapter shouldn't take as long, as I think I know exactly what I want to do. However, I do want to take a quick poll:

I am debating a sex scene. However, this would be my first. (Most if not all of my stories simply don't go there. If there is nookie, it's implied or very_ non-descriptive nookie) Since you all have taken the time to read my story, and since I don't know what I want to do, I want to take your thoughts into careful consideration. Most sex scenes I read in general (slash/yaoi or regular) tend to be cheesy, OOC and tasteless, which is why I worry about doing anything descriptive. I don't want my carefully constructed fic to become a tasteless porno. O.o On the other hand, I have read very tasteful, well-done scenes that enhance the story. So, here's the question. Nookie, or no nookie? If yes nookie, then implied nookie, lightly descriptive nookie(talking more about the emotions involved, then the actual physical scenes), or heavily descriptive nookie (physical detail as well as emotional detail)? Thank you for taking the time to answer. :D_

PS: Augh, I don't think Kane and RVD are going to be a tag team anymore. =( But at the same time, I can't wait until next Monday! Either Kane will become the WWE champ or will get unmasked. I want Kane to win! Yet at the same time I am incredibly curious about how WWE would handle something as major as Kane's unmasking. Either way, next Monday is going to ROCK! 


	14. Chapter 14 Solace

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Author's Notes: Although I have mixed feelings about Kane's unmasking at 6/23 RAW, the entire thing completely blows my theories to Hell. Since my theories are the major plot points of this story, Slow Chemical will continue as if 6/23 RAW never happened. 

Slow Chemical

Chapter 14 - Solace

_Come home…_

Master has returned.

__

Come home…

It's over.

It's all over.

_Come home…_

Resistance is futile.

_Come home…_

Free will is an illusion.

In the locker room, Kane sat on a bench while Terri checked his wounds to make sure they were healing properly. Rob sat on the bench beside him, concern on his young face. Since Paul Bearer's return, the big man had become almost catatonic. He didn't speak, and didn't respond when spoken to. Hurricane was kneeling next to Terri, looking as though he wanted to make himself useful but didn't know what to do.

"Kane…you really need to take better care of yourself," Terri murmured softly as she cleaned the large cut on his arm, which had been infected.

There was no response.

"You know… you don't have to go back to him, Kane…" Rob said softly, resting one hand on his friend's back.

"Yeah…" Hurricane quickly piped in, "He's old, he's fat, you could take him in a heartbeat!"

Still no response.

Rob sighed. It was apparent that the old man's hold over Kane wasn't physical. 

_…some things about him didn't make sense… couldn't speak or write…no mind of his own…thoughts and beliefs mirrored whatever bullshit the fat man fed him…_

RVD's soft, hazel eyes fell on the leather mask. The object that Kane cherished so much, depended on so completely.

_Everything - his memories, his beliefs, his thoughts, his entire psyche…strongly influenced and controlled…His entire identity…linked with the very scars that cripple him…_

The mask was more than just a cover for his visage. It was an invisible collar, a physical representation of Paul Bearer's control. No matter how hard he tried, how far he had gone, as long as he wore that mask he would always be a puppet.

How the martial artist wished he could show Kane that he was not the wretchedly disfigured monstrosity he believed himself to be. How he wished that he could show his partner the true meaning of love and friendship and shelter him from the terrible man that controlled him.

But what could he do?

How could he reverse the years of psychological trauma and control that had been such a powerful part of Kane's life?

How could he tell him that his scars were on his soul, not his face?

Looking at the vacant eyes of the big man, a terrible feeling of apprehension threatened to overwhelm the martial artist.

Kane's mind had become so fragile at this point…if pushed much farther his psyche would be irreversibly destroyed.

Bad Blood was only six days away. Rob had six days to try to repair his companion's shattered mind, or risk losing him forever.

Six days…

It's over.

No escape.

The running, the fighting, the hiding, hopes, dreams for a better future…

It's all over.

For Kane, there was no future.

Dreams were the wishes of sentient beings.

Kane was a tool.

Tools were not capable of dreams.

Free will is an illusion.

In the sparsely lit hotel room, Rob Van Dam sat quietly on one of the two single beds. Sitting almost catatonically on the other single bed was Kane. The television provided one of the only light sources, but neither man listened to the program.

_Talk to me, Kane…please let me help you._

The martial artist's lips moved, but no words could come out. He felt so helpless. Kane had not spoken, had barely even moved. Had it not been for the slow rise and fall of his chest and an occasional blink of his eyes, one would have presumed him dead.

Was it already too late?

How he wanted to embrace Kane, to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright. Yet, as much as he tried to will himself to do so, his limbs would not obey. All he could do was sit and watch as his companion slipped further and further away…

Pain. Hate. Fear. Torment.

An endless cycle.

He wanted to break the cycle.

He wanted to get away.

Far away.

He was trapped. There was no escape.

Never an escape.

Vaguely he noticed the interior of the hotel room. How did he get there?

It didn't matter.

He would soon be back by his master's side.

The cycle would start anew.

Suddenly looking down at his hands, Kane vaguely noticed that they began shaking.

He didn't want to go back. Never wanted to go back.

His chest felt tight, his hands couldn't stop shaking.

The world felt as if it was swallowing him whole.

Never an escape.

The tremors continued from his hands throughout his entire body.

Nothing but a tool.

An endless cycle.

His chest tightened painfully, his breaths coming in short gasps.

Dreams, hope for a better future.

It was all that he wanted.

__

It was the one thing he could never have.

He was nothing but a tool.

_Free will is an illusion._

At least…by his master's side… he wasn't alone…

He couldn't stop shaking. His gasps breaths quickly evolved into dry heaves.

Being someone's pawn is worse than solitude.

_Knowing_ that he was a pawn, and being incapable of doing anything about it, was the worse Fate of all.

Everything around him was falling apart.

Everything that he had worked so hard for was slipping from his grasp.

The world spun around him, threatening to swallow him and pull him into the abyss.

He didn't want to go!

Never an escape.

He clutched his head tightly with his hands.

Free will is an illusion.

_Rob!!_

--

--

Help me!!!

"Kane?"

Rob had immediately noticed his companion's trembling and was instantly by his side. Gently he placed one hand on his shoulder, but the big man shied away from his touch. Kane's eyes were wide and unfocused, his shaking quickly intensified. 

"Hey…don't be afraid…" RVD soothed. He drew closer, sitting on the bed with him. Kane's breaths began to come in dry heaves. "Shh…it's me, Rob…it's ok…"

The big man suddenly closed his eyes tightly and clutched his head with his hands.

"Kane!" Rob cried. He reached forward and tenderly touched his partner's shoulder. A whimper escaped the larger man, but this time he didn't move away. The martial artist drew closer. "Kane, it's ok…don't be afraid…everything's going to be alright…"

"Rob…" RVD could vaguely make out his friend's small voice. "Rob! Help me! I don't want to go…don't want to go…"

"You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to…" Rob said soothingly, pulling his friend into an embrace. He could feel Kane shaking against him, and gently rubbed his back. "Shh…it's alright…you don't have to do anything you don't want to…"

"Don't go away…" Kane whispered. The big man clung onto him as if he believed that Rob would disappear if he ever let go. "Don't leave…I don't want to be alone…please…"

His voice, his actions, his entire behavior was so…child-like, so…unlike Kane. The man who was known to rip the steel door off of its hinges, the man who was known to destroy any and all who stood in his way…was not the same man who trembled so violently in the martial artist's protective grasp. The years of torture and hate and solitude could not destroy the frightened child that resided in Kane's psyche. They could only suppress it, and the onslaught of renewed emotions threatened to overwhelm him. For a moment Rob felt awkward, as if he was invading a very personal part of Kane's being. Yet, at the same time, he felt touched at the intimacy.

"Shh…I'm not going anywhere…I promise…" Rob soothed. He slowly leaned sideways, pulling his partner with him, until they were both laying on their sides on the bed. Afterwards, the martial artist gently tightened his grasp and continued to rub small circles in Kane's back. "I'm right here…everything's going to be alright…"

"I don't want to go back, Rob…" the big man whimpered.

"You don't have to, Kane…" RVD whispered, pressing his forehead tenderly against his. "You don't have to do anything, you have free will-"

"Free will is an illusion."

Rob was startled not as much by the words as by the tone of his friend's voice. It was so…mechanical…so automatic, as if it had been programmed into him. Suddenly, everything made sense. 

_…no mind of his own…thoughts and beliefs mirrored whatever bullshit the fat man fed him…_

The mask, his actions, his hopeless attitude, it all made sense. Paul Bearer controlled him by forcing him to believe that no other alternatives existed. No matter what choice he made, no matter what options he thought he had, somehow everything would always end the same. Kane truly believed that no matter what he did, nothing would change the inevitable outcome.

What a terribly depressing thought, to believe that nothing you ever did would change anything.

What an awful feeling, to believe that your hopes and dreams and thoughts were worth nothing, that no one would ever care.

_He_ cared, and he wanted Kane to know that. Kane _needed_ to know that.

Drawing his hand from Kane's back and resting it on the side of his face, the martial artist gingerly pressed his lips against his partner's in a gentle kiss. It was modest, although not devoid of passion. Afterwards, Rob looked into the shocked, pale blue eyes of his companion and smiled. "Free will is a gift granted to all living beings, Kane. You included. Your opinions, your fears, hopes, dreams, decisions, they're all valid. He can't control you anymore. You are not his puppet, you are your own person. Nothing he does can change that…and no matter what you decide, I will always be here for you. Thatis a promise."

There was no verbal response, but the big man's shivering had completely stopped. Rob gently held him close and began to rub his back again. "Just rest now. You've had a rough week. Relax…I'll be right here when you wake up."

Despite Kane's apparent efforts to stay awake and respond, he was soon overcome by exhaustion and the comfort of Rob's touch and fell asleep…

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Author's Notes: Sorry this chapter took so long. It was surprisingly difficult to write. (It was hard to get into the right mindset, and figure out the right phrases and words to use.) I hope the kiss didn't come off as lame, as I felt that an overly passionate scene would have been a little out of place with all the drama and angst in this chapter. Do not worry, I'm saving the passion and love for the upcoming chapter. Sorry this one took so long, but I wanted such an emotional chapter to be as close to perfect as my writing skills allow. I hope you liked it! ;) 


	15. Chapter 15 My Brother's Keeper

Slow Chemical

Chapter 15 - My Brother's Keeper

Unbeknownst to those involved, the audience were not the only spectators to the recent RAW's events. Sitting on the large leather chair, watching the events from a fairly large television screen within his luxurious home, Undertaker watched everything with a mixture of anger, worry and faked nonchalance. Although there was no one there to witness his reaction to Paul Bearer's surprise return, Mark tried feverishly to pretend that he didn't care.

_After all these years, if Kane still allows himself to be controlled by that manipulative bastard than he deserves his fate!_

Yet…no matter how many times Undertaker mentally recycled that resolution, he could not convince himself to believe it. All the explanations, valid or not, could not rid him of the terrible guilt that plagued him. Kane was his brother, his _baby_ brother, and as the elder brother Mark had completely disregarded his responsibility to protect him. Even when they were children, he had failed.

_You're such a wuss. Those kids are smaller than you and you need my help?!_

If you can't take them out yourself, then you deserved to get beat up.

Kane does not need my protection.

I am not my brother's keeper.

After awhile, Kane had stopped coming to him for help. Mark had been satisfied, believing it to be because he was finally fighting for himself. Only now, over thirty years later, did he realize that his young sibling didn't cry to him for protection anymore because he knew that it would never be provided. He didn't learn to stand up for himself, he learned that he wasn't worth fighting for.

He had been ashamed of his brother's sensitivity. He remained aloof so that he would not be seen as 'weak,' and Kane was the one who suffered for his insecurities.

Staring at the television screen and watching the horrified look on his brother's face, Undertaker couldn't help but wonder…

If he had stepped up to the plate and was the brother he should have been, maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe Kane would have been able to find it within himself to fight against Paul Bearer's influence. Maybe…Kane would come to him for help now, instead of trying to carry the weight and burden alone. Even now the brothers rarely spoke to each other. Despite Mark's many attempts to reconcile, he had a feeling that the impression he left on Kane was permanent. After awhile he just gave up. For years he managed to spare himself the angst of guilt with the explanation that "Kane has always been the loner type." Despite the absurdity of that statement, and the obvious falseness of it, Undertaker hoped that if he repeated it long enough it would somehow become the truth.

_Do you think that maybe, just maybe, Kane prefers solitude because he has never found a better alternative?_

Rob Van Dam's words haunted him. Could things have turned out differently? Did Mark's failure as a protector provoke his brother's suffering? If so, it was no wonder Kane could never trust him.

Unable to stand the sight of the sadistic old man on the titantron and the terrified look on his sibling's face, Undertaker shut off the television with a click of the remote.

_…on Bad Blood… fight Triple H for the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship belt…when you lose, you will be mine again. It's time to come home…_

The location of Bad Blood was at least a four day drive…if he left now, he should be able to get there in time. Yet, indecision stilled his limbs. Was there anything he could do? Was it already too late? Was Kane already too far gone? Does he even need, or want, his help?

Yet, could he just sit here and watch his brother lose himself as he had so many times before? Could he once again neglect his responsibility and allow Kane to suffer?

No, not this time.

Sarah walked into the living room to find her husband tossing a few necessities into a small bag. Before she had a chance to ask, she found herself swept off her feet in a massive bear hug, followed by a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I'm sorry, hon, I have to go. I need you to call Stephanie for me," Mark said as he released his grip. "Tell her that I'm sick or something, whatever sounds good. I'll be back in a few days, I promise."

Surprised by his words and sudden bout of affection, Sarah stood speechless as he finished packing up and headed for the door. Fortunately she managed to find her voice as he opened the door.

"Wait! Why do you have to go?" she asked, moderately flustered.

Mark stopped at the door for a moment, one hand holding the bag and the other resting on the doorframe.

"Because I have to do something I should have done a long time ago," he responded quietly, not looking back at her. Without another word he left, closing the door behind him…

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Author's Notes: For awhile I had debated whether or not this chapter should have been ch 14 (with "Solace" being ch 15.) but I finished "Solace" first and figured that it didn't make that much of a difference either way. I know this chapter is short, but most of my chapters revolve around Kane and RVD's thoughts without going into the thoughts of any other characters. Whenever the focus changes from them to someone else (such as Morley or Undertaker) I usually devote an entire chapter to them to spare some confusion, so breaking here felt the most appropriate. The next chapter will focus on Kane and Rob again, and should be much longer. I hope you like this chapter, and I will get the next one up as soon as possible!

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	16. Chapter 16 A Better Alternative

Slow Chemical

Chapter 16 - A Better Alternative

_Rob--help me!_

I'm here…

Kane awoke to find himself laying alone in the small bed, the blanket tucked around him. He abruptly sat up, looking around almost frantically - where was Rob?!! A sigh of relief escaped him as he noticed the bathroom door closed and the sound of running water. Listening to it, the big man laid back down, staring up at the ceiling.

_What have I become?_

Weak…inefficient…useless…

With a groan, he raised one arm over his eyes. He had been in such a fog during the last week or so, he could barely remember anything. What he could remember was the nightmare… so real, so powerful, he was overwhelmed. So overwhelmed…that he was even reduced to a pitiful child, crying out for protection.

What a terrible impression he must have given Rob. He dreaded what his partner must have thought of him now. What if…

What if Rob leaves? Abandons him like everyone else had? For so long he yearned for intimacy…yet the vulnerability of it terrified him. RVD had seen him at his weakest, most fragile, most…vulnerable. After all this…his abandonment would be devastating.

_You've become weak in my absence._

Don't leave me…

What happened to the monster I created?!

Kane lifted his arm away from his eyes to see it shaking. Suddenly, enraged at his own weakness, he grasped his trembling wrist with his other hand.

_Stop it--!! Stop it!! Enough!!_

Angrily, he tightened his grip on the disobedient appendage that dared to shake so violently. Even as he felt his hand grow numb and pain shoot up his arm from the crushing hold, he was determined to make the tremors stop.

__

Don't go away…

****

Stop it--!!

I don't want to be alone…

Enough!!

Just a tool…

No more!

Free will is an illusion.

Suddenly, the sound of running water ceased. He looked over at the bathroom door, his shivering coming to an abrupt stop.

_Free will is a gift granted to all living beings._

If Rob was going to leave…he would have done it by now…

Wouldn't he?

He had cried out for help…and Rob had been there.

_I will always be here…_

Looking back up at the ceiling, the big man slowly raised his fingertips to his lips.

The kiss…

_…I promise…_

"Kane?" the sudden noise startled the big man out of his thoughts. He sat up and turned to see Rob standing in the bathroom doorway, wearing jean shorts, a white T-shirt and drying his hair with a beige towel. "Hey, champ! I didn't think you'd be up this early."

There had been so many things…so many thoughts, words, emotions whirling through him. Yet at that moment, looking into the soft, hazel eyes of his best friend, Kane's ravaged mind drew a complete blank and he could not even think of a single thing to say. Suddenly, something appeared to catch the martial artist's eye and he drew close.

"Kane…what happened to your hand?!"

The big man looked down at the arm that had disobeyed him and realized that he was still grasping it with just a bit less intensity. Releasing his hold, feeling began to return to his hand as well as a pain in his wrist as a massive bruise began to develop. Ignoring the pain in his wrist, Kane shook his hand as the "pins and needles" feeling began to spread across his palm and fingers. He winced as his partner gently took his hand and began to rub it between his own.

_You've become weak in my absence._

You've become weak…

"I-uh…" looking away from his friend, Kane tried feverishly to think of something to say. An excuse for his actions, some kind of explanation. Yet, once again his mind drew a blank. "I'm sorry…"

"For what?" RVD's voice was soft. "For not being invincible? For being unable to carry the weight of the world alone? There's nothing to forgive, Kane, because you didn't do anything wrong."

"But…you… deserve better than this, Rob…" The big man whispered. "…you…deserve to be happy."

"And you don't?"

He couldn't answer.

"I have an idea…" He turned to see Rob smiling back at him. "How about we go out with Terri and Greg? It's been a rough week and we could use some fun."

"Terri? Greg?" Kane asked, baffled. After ending his friendship with them so abruptly so many months ago, he doubted that they even wanted anything to do with him now.

The martial artist was silent for just a moment, looking a bit concerned. Suddenly, as soon as it was there it was gone. "Yeah! They've actually been worried about you, champ! I think it would do us all a bit of good."

"Oh. Alright. That sounds good-" suddenly, Kane sprung up from the bed as realization dawned on him. When was the last time he had taken a shower?! "Rob, any hot water left?!!"

"What?! Uh, yeah-" The poor martial artist was almost mowed down as his friend made a B-Line to the bathroom…

__

Rob placed the telephone on the base and leaned back against the headboard with a sigh. Greg and Terri agreed to meet them at a local theme park. What worried him was that Kane didn't seem to remember either of them from the other day. Their previous diagnosis that he was virtually catatonic at the time was not an overstatement.

It left him with a chilling thought.

What if…

What if Kane does go back?

What if, even after everything, he were to go back to that monster…

The martial artist had a terrible feeling that if Kane went back this time, there would be no next time. His ego would not be able to take much more trauma…

_I don't want to go…don't want to go…_

At least…the big man wasn't blind to the horror of his master's treatment. 

The problem was getting Kane to see that he _deserved_ better…

_Free will is an illusion…_

…and that happiness was, indeed, a possible alternative.

"Oh! Lets go on this one!"

"That one! I wanna go on that one!"

"You're gonna ride with me, aren't you?!"

"Ha! Admit it, big guy! I heard you screaming like a little girl on that ride!"

"Oh! I wanna ride this one again!"

"Lets play in the arcade!"

Kane massaged his temples as he mentally declared that he would never bring Hurricane Helms to a theme park again. Even Rob and Terri looked as if they were ready to knock Greg upside the head after awhile, and they were two of the most patient people the big man knew. The superhero literally hit second childhood the minute he stepped onto one of the "fast rides." That is to say he ever left his first childhood…

The big man had to admit, though. This day had been a great, albeit temporary, relief from the stress of the past few weeks. He felt invigorated and even performed a funky dance when he beat Terri at DDR. The fact that he simply failed five seconds after she did was a minor detail…

_Maybe…_

Rob grinned mischievously as he, Kane and Greg dragged Terri to one of the minor roller coasters.

_Maybe…_

Rob felt a scrunched up napkin hit him in the back of his head and turned to mock glare at a chuckling Kane and Greg before picking it up and chucking it back at them.

_Maybe…_

Rob laughed as Kane performed his little dance after beating Terri at DDR.

_Maybe…Kane wasn't too lost to be recovered, after all. _

The big man laid back on one of he single beds with his arms behind his head. He glanced over at Rob, who had already fallen asleep on the other bed.

As he recalled the events of the day, and previous night, his fondness for the martial artist grew drastically. Kane raised his fingertips to his lips again, vaguely noticing the bruises that remained on his injured wrist.

Suddenly, a forbidden thought managed its way into his awareness.

Could he…?

Could he…remove his mask, in front of Rob?

His fingers moved from his lips to the straps of his mask.

After all this…would his terrible visage still frighten the martial artist away?

Shaking his head vigorously, he fought the chills that threatened to come. He pulled his hand away from the straps as if they burned him.

No…it was too risky. If his disfigured features disgusted Rob, and he in turn pulled away…the result would be catastrophic.

With that resolution, Kane rested his arm by his side and closed his eyes. As much as he tried to recycle the cheerful events of the day, he couldn't dispel the chilling thought…

Bad Blood was only four days away.

__

*DDR = Dance Dance Revolution.

_Author's Notes - This chapter had a few points to it. One was to lighten the mood, ease the level of angst a little without disregarding it. Another is to show that Kane does have a chance of breaking away from Paul Bearer (by having him experience a taste of 'the better alternative'), yet at the same time show that Paul Bearer still has a powerful hold on him (the mask, and the bruising on his wrist.). Finally, I wanted to add a little bit of humor (Hurricane's behavior at the theme park), without making it cheesy or out of place. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to handle the next chapter, but I think the angst part of it is going to return full-force as the issues with the mask will become a greater priority. ;) Thank you very much for your comments! I really appreciate your reviews, they've been very uplifting and I use them to measure my progress as a writer. I am glad to see that I've managed to keep your interests for so long, and I hope to keep your interests until the end. That is, I believe, the primary purpose for every writer. Once you've lost the interest of the reader, the story becomes meaningless. ;) Thanks again for your reviews, and I will work on the next chapter as soon as possible._


	17. Chapter 17 The Invisible Collar

Slow Chemical

Chapter 17 - The Invisible Collar

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Friendship. Care. Trust.

I…trust you, Rob…

Looking into the gentle, hazel eyes of his companion, Kane slipped his fingers underneath the straps of his mask.

You won't turn away…

I know…hope…you won't turn away…

Lifting the object from his face, it felt as if shedding a second skin he had worn it for so long. He had hoped, dreamed, even prayed for a positive reaction. For Rob to smile that gentle smile of his, to look upon his wretched features without fear, without disdain.

Looking into the shocked, horrified eyes of his companion, Kane felt his stomach turn as realization struck him like a physical blow.

He was nothing but a tool.

Objects had no right to dream.

Suddenly, Rob was gone. Just like Sean, just like Chyna, Tori, Katie, Mark…once again, he was alone.

So very, very alone.

Within the darkness, his master emerged from the shadows, one hand outstretched.

Come to me, Kane…

Frightened of the terrible emptiness of solitude, he felt compelled to reach his own, gloved hand towards his master.

With his master, at least he would not be alone…

Even slavery is better than solitude…

…isn't it?

Yet…the thought of returning to his side evoked a sense of dread so powerful it was overwhelming. 

He drew his hand back as if scorched by fire.

No! 

Not again!

Never again!

The image disappeared, and Kane was alone. Completely, utterly alone.

"Rob!"

His lips moved, but no sound would come out.

Silent. Nothing.

He felt himself scream, but still no sound would prevail.

All that was left was the emptiness.

Suddenly, two hands grabbed his shoulders.

_It was trying to pull him into the emptiness._

He struggled against the grasp, almost violently.

_The silent emptiness was shattered by a powerful, yet gentle voice…_

"Kane, it's alright! Wake up, please!"

__

…Rob?!

His eyes fluttered open. RVD was practically on top of him, trying to stop him from flailing and hurting himself. The martial artist wore an expression of concern.

"It's alright…" he said soothingly. His expression and grip softening as Kane's struggles slowed. "It's just a dream…"

_Just a dream…_

"R-Rob?!" the big man whispered.

_Rob was still here…it was just a dream…_

"That's right, Champ…" He answered gingerly. "I'm right here. It's just a bad dream."

_Still here…_

Kane's throat felt constricted, his eyes stung. RVD smiled tenderly and stroked the side of his face with his fingertips. Although he could physically feel the mask strapped against his face, the dream was still so strong in his mind that he cringed away from his partner's touch.

"Shh…it's alright…"

_Just a dream…_

What in the world happened?!

Rob had hoped that the fun and excitement of the day would have showed Kane the beauty of fun and freedom. He had hoped that the events would give him something positive to think of, and grant him at least one night of restful sleep.

Sitting straddled on his companion's waist, holding his arms down with all the strength he could muster, Rob's gaze once again lingered on the mask. Even in the middle of the night, under the cover of darkness the big man still wore his invisible collar…

As he reached his hand forward and touched his partner's face only to have him cringe in return, the martial artist was overwhelmed with a terrible thought…

Was it too late? Paul Bearer's hold was even stronger than he had anticipated. For more than thirty years his thoughts, beliefs and every part of his psyche were influenced by that monstrosity. After so many years was it even possible to reverse such powerful effects? 

Looking into the pale blue eyes of his partner, the martial artist found no answers. At least, the struggles had ceased. The worst appeared to be over.__Wearing an expression of concern, Rob gently laid himself down next to the big man and hugged him around his waist. "Do you want to talk about it?"

There was a long moment of silence. The martial artist sighed inwardly. Even after everything they had gone through, Kane still never spoke of the nightmares, and rarely anything specific about his past at all. Throughout their relationship Rob had figured that, with time, the big man would eventually open up on his own. Yet, as time elapsed, he began to wonder if Kane would _ever_ open up. It was just safer for him to remain concealed. 

Although, thinking about it, the smaller man tried to figure how uncomfortable this situation probably was. As damaging as silence was, it must be unnerving having to recall something so frightening especially after being taught that emotions were weakness.

"Did you ever have a dream that you were walking down the street and suddenly everyone stares at you? You look down to see what's wrong and suddenly realize you're naked?" Rob's weird question immediately dispelled the uncomfortable fog. Kane turned to look at him, perplexed.

"What?! No!" The big man exclaimed.

The martial artist chuckled. "How about a dream where zombies are chasing you? Or that you're walking and the ground gives away underneath you and you fall forever?"

"No, neither…," Kane answered with a small laugh.

"Oh, I guess I'm just weird then," Rob said with a grin. Suddenly, his expression grew serious. "What do you dream about, Kane?"

There was a long pause. "The past…"

"The past…?" the martial artist coaxed.

"Everything…" Kane grew silent, the vague response being Rob's only answer. As close as the two had become, there was something holding the big man back from allowing himself to place complete trust in another. Once again, his hazel eyes fell to the mask.

Gingerly, Rob reached forward and touched his partner's face, his fingertips lightly running along the side of his covered cheek. Kane drew back as if scorched by fire. "What… do you think will happen if you take your mask off?"

"You'll go away…" he answer, his haunted voice a hushed tone. The big man sat up and leaned back on his hands. "You'll leave, y-you'll abandon me--like everyone else!"

"What if…you take your mask off and I don't go away…?" Rob asked soothingly. He too pushed himself into a sitting position. There was a long pause, as if the big man was trying to even fathom the possibility. "What if we stay friends forever? Grow old and crusty together? What if, hmm, we simply continue to kick ass as a team and watch horrible B movies and play Hungry Hungry Hippos and throw balled up napkins and make idiots of ourselves at DDR? All of the worry and fear and anxiety about your face could be just a memory. Could it be possible?"

_Could it be possible?_

Kane was almost overwhelmed by the idea. That alternative sounded so appealing…yet, was it worth the risk? Was that kind of life even possible for him?Was it? What if he removed his mask and Rob ran away screaming?! Yet…what if he removed it and Rob _didn't_? Was it worth the risk? The big man swallowed nervously. He hoped it was.

Slowly the big man reached his hands behind his head and began to loosen the straps. Apprehension quickly threatened to overwhelm him, and his hands shook so violently he was forced to stop. At that point, the mask was almost completely unhooked, only a strap or two just tight enough to keep it loosely against his face. Rob reached forward and gently finished undoing the straps. Afterwards, he slowly lowered the mask and gazed upon his partner's features. Gripping the blanket in a white-knuckled grasp, Kane immediately closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, not wishing to see the disgusted and horrified expression that his friend would soon be wearing.

He listened for the terrible scream that would be sure to come. A physical blow sure to follow and, finally, the terrible loneliness which would signify the inevitable end.

So when he felt a gentle touch on the side of his face, he opened his eyes and looked at Rob in surprise.

The martial artist's expression was unreadable.

"I'm so sorry…" Rob began. The big man tensed, a cold chill forming in the pit of his stomach. Was…was this the beginning of a goodbye? "…that you've had to go through so much. You've been so paranoid, have been hiding yourself for so long and have allowed others to take advantage…You're not ugly, Kane…you're beautiful… I wish I could have known you sooner, that I could have helped you realize before now that you're not the monster you believe yourself to be…"

"W-what are you saying?" Kane whispered.

The martial artist gently ran his fingertips along his partner's uncovered cheek. "…the only scars I see, Kane…are the ones on your soul…"

_Only scars…on your soul…_

"I…I don't understand…"

Everything seemed so surreal, Kane expected to wake up and find out that this was just a dream. Even without his mask, the martial artist was still there. He wasn't disgusted, he didn't run away… It was just too good to be true. It was definitely too good to be true.

__

"You don't have to worry anymore…" Rob whispered soothingly. He continued to gently stroke his face. "You're my best friend and I'll never leave you…I love you…"

Tears stung the big man eyes, and he quickly shut them. This is just going to be a dream, a beautiful figment of his imagination that he will soon awaken from. Something like this…simply could not happen to him. Yet…the thought of finally finding love and acceptance… especially from the one he cared for most…was almost overwhelming.

"Shh, it's alright…" Suddenly, he felt Rob's warm embrace. The martial artist's fingers gently ran across his back. "…I'm right here…everything's going to be ok…"

Unable to stifle a sob, the big man buried his face in the soft fabric of his partner's shirt. The warmth of his partner's body heat, the scent, the soft touch and the soothing, familiar tone of his voice… This couldn't be real. True love and trust and friendship were far above him. Free will was an illusion. Kane was nothing but a tool, and objects were undeserving of attachment. This simply could not be real. He was going to awaken from this beautiful dream and find himself back in his master's wretched basement.

Yet…he didn't wake up.

The mask itself laid on the nightstand right next to the bed, momentarily forgotten.

_Author's Notes: WWE writers aren't complete idiots after all! For any who did not see last Monday's RAW, the WWE angle for Kane has taken a turn - It turns out that their interpretation of Kane is closer to my theories than I had previously thought! Ha! This chapter was kind of difficult to write. It was hard trying to figure out whose point of view to use for each scene and had to re-write pieces of it quite a few times. I was also having a little trouble keeping them in character and trying to make the story flow right (not make the events happen too quickly or too slowly). I also had considered putting the sex scene in this chapter, but I eventually decided against it on the boundaries that this was not the appropriate place. Also, I couldn't think of how to have Kane react to Rob's "The only scars I see are the ones on your soul," line. At first, I was going to have him react the way the real life Kane is reacting to the similar accusation. However, I couldn't imagine Kane acting that way in this situation. So, eventually I decided that he was so surprised by the entire thing that he really didn't have the mindset to think about what Rob was saying. At least, not right now. In the end, I think I did a decent job. _


	18. Chapter 18 Could Only Be a Dream

Slow Chemical

Chapter 18 - Could Only Be a Dream

_You don't have to worry anymore…_

It couldn't be real.

_I'll never leave you…_

Nothing like this could ever be real.

_I love you._

This could only be a dream.

Kane vaguely began to feel consciousness returning to him, although his eyes remained shut. For the first time in the big man's entire life he felt completely safe, as if nothing in the world could harm him where he laid. Soft fingers alternately stroking his forehead and kneading his scalp only served to reinforce this odd, yet desirable emotion.

Unfortunately, the moment of security lasted but only a moment, when he truly realized that the fingers were touching his _uncovered_ face. Temporarily forgetting the events of the previous night, his eyes fluttered open with a start. Laying on his back and looking upwards, the first sight that greeted him was Rob, cradling a phone on his shoulder. He appeared to be looking off into the distance with a relaxed, content expression on his young face. Immediately his memory returned and he relaxed, although only a little. After a moment the martial artist hung up the phone and greeted his partner with a cheerful smile. For that second, the big man's heart stopped. In his mind's eye he saw Rob's smile convert into a look of disgust. He could hear the phantom scream of horror and disdain…

"Good morning, Champ!" Rob greeted, gently scratching the top of his partner's head like a favored cat.

_It… wasn't just a dream after all._

Kane returned the smile.

"Um…" the martial artist's mood suddenly darkened slightly. "I was just talking to Greg and Terri, I was thinking we could carpool with them to New Jersey…"

_New Jersey._

Bad Blood.

Kane's mood also dropped.

"Yeah…that's a good idea…" the big man murmured, turning his gaze aside.

"Kane, look at me," Rob suddenly ordered, his voice firm but gentle. His partner obeyed, feeling incredibly uncomfortable even naked without the cover of his mask. "You're not just gonna beat Triple H, you're gonna kick his ass! I've got a good feeling about this! I know you can do it, and I'll be there to make sure Bearer and 'Evolution' don't interfere."

Before he could answer, there was a knock on the door. Kane immediately scrambled for his mask while Rob jumped out of bed and raced to the door. The martial artist waited for his partner to finish adjusting the straps before opening.

Hurricane busted through the doorway, almost earning his nickname by knocking over a lamp in the process. Terri walked in behind him, shaking her head. Greg quickly caught the lamp and steadied it, giving Kane and Rob a massive grin. "Ready to hit the road?!"

"Punch buggy!" Hurricane cried as he tried to reach in the back of the rental van to punch Kane. After a warning look and a raised fist, the smaller man quickly settled himself back in the passenger seat. Terri giggled from her place at the driver's seat.

The big man smiled sinisterly in satisfaction before glancing at his companion. He and Rob were sitting in the back. They had been driving for quite a few hours and the ride had taken its toll on the martial artist. He was leaning against his partner, fast asleep. Kane had one arm securely around his waist, while shaking the other at Gregory.

Of course, the playful superhero would not be deterred. After only a couple of minutes he turned around and started making faces at Kane, who returned with faces of his own. Terri shook her head, lips pulling back into a smile. _Men!_

Yet, after another hour, even Greg's seemingly boundless bouts of energy began to wane. Kane also grew tired and finally he rested his covered cheek on the top of the smaller man's head and too fell asleep.

"Greg, look," Terri whispered as she glanced at the rearview mirror. The super hero wearily glanced behind him.

"Aw," Hurricane whispered back, grinning at the diva. "Feel the love!"

"What… do you think is going to happen at Bad Blood…?" She suddenly asked, her voice growing more solemn.

There was a long pause.

"I…don't know, Terri," Greg finally answered. "…I really don't know."

_Less than a day left._

Until the end.

Until Bad Blood.

Kane drifted in and out of sleep, when awake he would drearily gaze outside and look at the stars. 

_What if he lost?!_

Unknowingly his grip tightened around his slumbering partner.

He didn't want to go back.

Never wanted to go back.

A hearty yawn from beside him snapped the big man to awareness.

"Tired, pal?" he asked. The martial artist nodded, not appearing to be quite fully awake. Kane chuckled, gently rubbing the back of the smaller man's neck. "Go back to sleep, I think we still got a little ways to go."

Rob nodded again drowsily and rested his head back on his friend's side. Kane's gaze lingered once again on the stars. Despite the serenity of the scenery, Bad Blood remained on his mind throughout the evening…

Finally the group arrived at the Marriot Hotel. It was still dark, yet it would be less than an hour until sunrise. All of the other wrestlers had already arrived, not leaving much in the way of available rooms. It was an enormous relief to find that there were two suites still available. Naturally the former tag team champions would share one while Terri and Greg would share the other. 

What did surprise Kane and Rob was to find that the suite assigned to them only had one king-sized bed. Yet, on the other hand, this obviously was not the first time the two had shared a bed. With that in mind, neither were overly uncomfortable with the situation.

The martial artist dropped his luggage inside of the room and hopped onto the bed with childish excitement. "Wow, this place isn't too bad!"

Kane placed his own luggage down as Rob turned on the television, which sat a few feet before the foot of the bed. Finally, after a small amount of hesitation, he removed his mask and carefully set it on the nightstand. He still felt strange without it, yet at the same time it was oddly invigorating. Rob now knew everything about him; the good, the bad and the ugly. Yet, he was still here. Even with his grotesque features uncovered, Rob was still here. The big man had nothing else to hide.

"Isn't too bad, eh? I'll give you something bad!" Kane suddenly jumped onto the bed, pinned the surprised martial artist on his back and savagely tickled him.

Most men were immune to that sort of thing. Rob was not one of those people. He giggled like a school girl and squirmed beneath his partner's superior strength.

"M-Mercy! I tap!" the martial artist cried as he tapped his hand on the soft fabric of the blanket. Kane pulled back and raised one hand triumphantly.

"Yes, I have found the great Rob Van Dam's weakness! I am invincible!" the big man laughed dramatically. Suddenly, the martial artist grabbed onto him and tried to flip so that he was on top. 

"Lets…give you a taste…of your own medicine…" Unfortunately, despite his greatest efforts, the weight difference was too much and the two remained where they were.

Kane gave another purposely over-dramatic laugh. "Yes! I knew those chocolate glazed doughnuts were good for someth-"

Suddenly RVD caught him off guard and, with all of his strength, finally managed to flip them so he was on top. As the martial artist sat straddled on his partner's waist, the playful mood was abruptly gone. It was replaced with…something far more intense. Slowly, Rob leaned forward and pressed his lips against Kane's.

The motion surprised the big man, yet at the same time it ignited something deep within him that he had fancied long gone. During the later years of his life, Kane had learned to suppress any form of sexual attraction. Sex leads to love, and love was an emotion too powerful and too dangerous for him to allow. Even most feelings of lust had been contained because, if unchecked, they too could evolve into something more. Not that it was difficult for him to repress such feelings, since he had long ago believed himself to be unlovable.

For that moment, the big man's repressed passion and excitement returned at full force and he returned the kiss with surprising zeal. Their lips still touching, the martial artist began to run his hands gently across his partner's chest and stomach. After another moment the two backed off for breath, Rob continuing the caress. At first, Kane felt a bit awkward at his companion's affection, as he wasn't used to being touched in any way that wasn't violent. However, he slowly grew accustomed and, not entirely sure what to do, began to mirror his partner's motions. The martial artist sat up, still straddling the big man's waist. Kane stopped, suddenly worried that he might have done something wrong. His concerns were quickly eased, however, when the smaller man smiled down at him and tugged at his shirt. Kane complied, shifting so that Rob could lift his shirt off. Afterwards, he reached forward and pulled off Rob's shirt, the latter leaning forward so that it would be easier.

RVD gently cupped his companion's face in his hands. His voice was soft. "You do know that you are beautiful, don't you?"

_Rob must be blind…_

Avoiding the question and the discomfort that came with it, the big man leaned forward and initiated another kiss. Throughout his entire life, Kane had yearned for this kind of intimacy…yet, now that he was so close to it, he couldn't dispel a growing feeling of dread. At first, it had been overlooked by passion, but as the evening progressed, the fear grew more and more powerful. The thought of letting someone give him any kind of pleasure, to be involved in something so perfect, so intimate…was such an impossibility that the reality of it was almost overwhelming.

"Hey…what's wrong?" Rob suddenly asked, breaking the kiss and looking him in the eyes. Apparently he must have noticed the big man's discomfort. "We can stop if you want to."

__

His voice held no disappointment, no anger.

Kane averted his gaze. RVD deserved to be happy. He didn't deserve all this drama…he was beautiful. He deserved to be happy.

But…how in the world could a monster like him make someone as beautiful, as compassionate, as perfect as Rob happy…? He could have anyone he wanted. How could he settle for something so grotesque, so wrecked…

"Kane…?"

Rob was the type who always acted on his heart. This way of thinking sometimes led to illogical choices with disappointing and even painful results. Yet, no matter how many times he had ever been hurt, it never convinced him to change. He always felt that, as long as he followed his feelings, he would live life to the fullest and never had any regrets. When he had kissed Kane, butterflies had fluttered freely in his stomach. When Kane had returned the kiss so passionately, everything had felt so right, so perfect, as if this had been compelled by destiny.

Now, looking down at his companion and noticing his obvious discomfort, even apprehension, the martial artist wondered if he had made a terrible mistake. What if…Kane wasn't interested in him that way? The last thing he wanted was to make Kane feel as though he was being taken advantage of. If that was the case…it could shatter what little self-esteem that the two had worked so hard to build. Yet, at the same time, the passion in that kiss had been unmistakable. Perhaps…this was just too much, too quickly.

__

…the only scars I see, Kane…are the ones on your soul…

I…I don't understand…

You do know that you're beautiful, don't you?

No answer…

No matter how many times Rob had told him how beautiful he was, it was if Kane couldn't see himself as anything more than the grotesque monstrosity everyone else thought him to be. His self-esteem had simply been shattered by all of the abuse and, even with all of Rob's praise and coaxing, building his confidence has been, and will continue to be, a slow progress. Rob was willing to take all of the time that was needed.

Kane averted his gaze, unable to say anything. From the beginning of their relationship, he had caused the smaller man nothing but trauma. What was it that compelled him to stay, when he could easily do so much better? The thought of RVD ever leaving him was…almost too much to bear. Yet, at the same time, the thought of putting someone he had grown to love through so much wracked him with a mixture of guilt and self-loathing. Rob shifted from his position on his partner's waist and laid himself down by his side. "Hey…it's ok. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I'm sorry-I…" His voice was shaky, he could barely get the words out.

"Shh, you don't have to explain yourself to me. We'll just take it slow…" RVD said soothingly.

"Why…why me…?" Kane suddenly asked, his voice just above a whisper. "When you could have anyone…when you could have so much better…"

Rob shook his head, tightening his hold. "I think…that you think much too lowly of yourself. There are so many wonderful things about you that you completely overlook… You're strong, compassionate, beautiful-"

"How can you say that?!" The big man cried, his voice threatening to crack. "Can't you see?! I'm a monster, Rob, a monster!!"

There was a long pause. Suddenly, the martial artist released his hold and sat up. Kane's breath caught in his throat as he was suddenly consumed with a terrible feeling of trepidation. Maybe now RVD realized that he could do better, maybe now he would leave. The thought of losing Rob made his stomach knot so tightly that he felt sick.

_He deserves better._

He deserves to be happy.

His eyes closed tightly, his teeth clenched.

__

He deserves to be happy.

"Kane…I need you to come with me…" Rob stood up and turned to look at him, extending one hand out. Quite confused, the big man quietly took his hand and pushed himself up and off of the bed. His curiosity only intensified as the martial artist gently led him towards the bathroom and turned on the lights. Suddenly, realization dawned on him as his companion led him towards the sink - and the mirror hanging so ominously above it.

"No!" Kane suddenly cried as he tried to pull his hand from the smaller man's grasp. He wanted to retreat, and get as far away from the horrible thing as possible. The pitiful tone of his voice tugged at the martial artist's heartstrings. It hurt him to see his friend in such pain, but he tightened his grip with the hope that perhaps, if Kane would see for himself, he would realize that he wasn't ugly at all. "Hey, it's alright…I just want you to see…"

"No, no no…" the big man whimpered mournfully, trying anxiously to pull his hand away.

"Kane, look…" Rob said soothingly as they neared the mirror. In less than twenty-four hours Kane was going to be fighting for his life in the hellhole of Bad Blood. The martial artist would be damned before letting him walk into that into that arena with such a masochistic way of thinking. This was going to end here and now.

He hoped…

In the eyes of most, a mirror was nothing more than a physical reflection. But to Kane, the mirror was a ghastly reflection of his faults, insecurities and the grisly scars. Ever since the fire, he never allowed his eyes to gaze upon his own, unmasked reflection for more than a fleeting moment, terrified of what it would hold. Kane was afraid of his own repulsiveness.

Unable to tear himself away from his partner's grasp, he shut his eyes tightly and looked away. He could feel Rob shift behind him and wrap his smaller arms around his waist. Why would RVD do this?! What did the martial artist think he would prove? Just how horrible his disfigurements are?!

_You're not ugly, Kane…you're beautiful… I wish I could have known you sooner, that I could have helped you realize before now that you're not the monster you believe yourself to be…_

…the only scars I see, Kane…are the ones on your soul…

You do know that you are beautiful, don't you?

Tonight was the second time Rob had kissed him. Someone as pretty as he wouldn't kiss a monster, would he?

A sudden, shocking thought entered his mind…What if Rob _wasn't_ lying? What if he _wasn't_ blind? What if…?

The thought of it was too good to be true. But…what about everyone else? What about all of the stares, the whispers, the laughter…

The answer laid just behind closed eyelids…

Slowly, as if preparing to see Satan himself staring back at him, Kane opened his eyes to look timidly at his reflection. Rob gently tightened his hold around the big man's waist. 

A small gasp emitted from him as his eyes took in the image. Beautiful was quite an overstatement, as he was certainly far uglier than average. Yet…he wasn't grotesque. His scrutinizing gaze looked for anything that could even be considered a scar…but he found nothing overly repulsive. His eyes were a bit sunken, and most of his others features unkempt and unattractive…but not hideous.

"Do you see what I see, Champ?" Rob said soothingly. "Because what I see is a gentle, beautiful and awesome person who has been victimized by a bunch of egotistical, self-centered bastards. What I want you to understand is that _they_ are the monsters, Kane, not you…"

"Rob…I, there…" Tears formed in his eyes, blurring his vision. How…could this be possible? For so many nights he had hoped, wished, dreamed, prayed for something like this. This couldn't be possible, how could it be? "…there's…but, how…the fire…?"

"What if…Paul Bearer dramatized the scars…? What if…he…used them to control you?" RVD answered, resting his cheek on his partner's unclothed shoulder. "See? He has no power over you anymore…"

"…how could this be?!" Kane reached one hand forward, his fingertips lightly touching the glass. Suddenly, he pulled himself from Rob's grasp, and before the martial artist knew it, he was swept up in a ferocious bear hug. "Rob! I can't believe it…how? I don't understand--How-How can this be?!"

He laughed, almost choking on a sob. This was too good to be true. This couldn't be true. This was something he could only dream of…

Well, if this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.

"This is it," Rob said solemnly, standing before the grand entrance to the arena. He looked up at his partner. "You ready, Champ?"

Kane quietly looked up at the arena, after a moment finally giving a nod. Although his features were not grotesque, he still preferred the security of his mask. RVD figured that if the mask made him feel safe, then he should probably continue to wear it for now. Especially now, when he need all of the emotional refuge he could get. At the very least, perhaps, he no longer had to depend on it so completely. 

The big man closed his eyes. In less than an hour…he would not only be fighting for the World Heavyweight Championship…but his life and soul as well. The thought of seeing his master again sent shivers down his spine.

_Free will is a gift granted to all living beings…_

He has no power over you anymore…

Kane recycled the words over and over in his mind and hoped that, when the match began and he watched his master enter beneath the titantron, he will remember them…

_Author's Notes: I know, I should be shot for taking so long. At first, I had no access to my computer, so I couldn't write it at all. When I finally did, I hit a wall at the sex scene (or what there was of it). I have little to no experience with romantic, passionate scenes, so it was hard for me to tell if it was cheesy, or unrealistic, or appropriate or correctly placed. When I first starting writing this chapter, the -real- sex scene was going to be here. But with Bad Blood only a day away, I would think that Kane would have too much on his mind and would have too many anxieties to engage in something so intimate. Also, I wasn't sure if the mood of the scene switched from playful, to romantic, to intimate too quickly. I think if it was the actual sex scene, it would be better to make the transition slower. However, since it wasn't the sex scene in its entirety, I decided to leave the transition as it was, to give you more of a 'rushed' feeling. (So it would be a bit more understandable that Kane was frightened by it.) Also, I believe that the sex scene in its entirety at this point would give you a false sense of security, such as a feeling of "oh, well since they had sex, love will conquer all." I've been wanting to keep a feeling of hope throughout this section of the story, while still keeping it dark enough so that you get the feeling that Kane could very well lose the match. How did the scene turn out? Was it a bit over the top? Too slow? Unrealistic? Is there anything that I should try to do, or avoid, if or when I do the actual nookie scene? Another point to make is that Kane's physical description at the mirror scene was purposely done in a cynical light. I didn't want to give the feeling that his confidence has suddenly just been handed to him, because that's not the case. It would be unrealistic, and probably a bit corny if his mindset jumped from "I'm a monster…" to "I am one sexy beast!" That, too, would give a false sense of security. Obviously Bearer would have no control over him whatsoever if his confidence had completely returned. So…with a final thought, what do you guys think will happen in the next chapter? Will love indeed conquer all? Will Kane and RVD ride off into the sunset together and make sweet, sweet slash? Will Paul Bearer's evil influence prevail? Will Triple H overpower Kane as he has done in the past? (I already have the next chapter planned out. It will be up as soon as possible! Hopefully it will take nowhere near as long as this chapter did!) I hope you enjoyed it!_


	19. Chapter 19 Bad Blood

Slow Chemical

Chapter 19 - Bad Blood

In the center of the ring, amidst the erupting pyros and the screaming crowd, stood Kane and Rob Van Dam. The smaller man looked up at his partner with worry. After everything they had gone through, after all of the progressed they had made, would it be enough? The big man looked visibly worried. Both of his hands were clenched tightly and his eyes were glued to the titantron.

"Kane…" RVD said softly, grabbing onto his friend's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Remember, I'm going to be right outside of the ring. If Paul Bearer or Evolution tries anything, I will be right there to stop them. So just focus on Triple H, ok?"

His only answer was a slow nod.

As the arena darkened and the referee motioned for Rob to exit the ring, the martial artist's mind was on only one thing.

Kane must win. His life depends on it.

Finally, after so many years, his master had finally returned to claim him.

_Free will is an illusion._

As he watched the silhouettes of his enemies near, and the lights slowly brighten, Kane was almost overwhelmed with a mixture of hatred and fear. He loathed his master for the trauma inflicted by his hand…for the emotional scars and loneliness that his abuse had caused…for the self esteem that monster had so eagerly robbed from him. At the same time, the thought of ever returning to that horrible life nearly consumed him with terror.

__

Free will is a gift granted to all living beings.

Triple H entered the ring wearing his usual smirk. In that bastard's mind, the match was already over. Kane's eyes narrowed and a small growl emitted from his throat. He wanted to rip the sneer from that wretch's face. But even as his fists clenched and unclenched and his body prepared for battle, his eyes strayed deviously to his former master, the fear remaining at the edge of his consciousness…

From his place at the sidelines, Rob too watched the entrance of their antagonists. As his eyes fell upon the fat man that had hurt his partner so savagely, he was almost consumed with fury. After everything he had done…he dared to show his face and try to rob what little life Kane managed to scavenge?! As much as the martial artist wished for that monster to experience the pain that he had inflicted, he knew that it would not likely work out in their best interest. If he were to expel all of his energy on Paul Bearer, he would not be able to use that vigor on Evolution if they decided to cheat. 

At the same time, the old man's mere presence could be enough to distract Kane from his match and cause him to lose. A sigh escaped him. He would just have to keep an eye on Paul Bearer, to make sure he doesn't do anything. The minute he tried something… Rob's fists trembled in anticipation.

A sudden thud startled the martial artist from his thoughts. The match had begun! He turned to see Kane pulling Triple H to his feet by his hair. The blonde suddenly punched his enemy in the stomach. The big man growled, but the pain only seemed to fuel him. Rob smiled proudly. Kane had learned long ago to make good use of his pain.

With a roar, the Game found himself hurled into the turnbuckles, followed by a three-hundred and thirty pound weight slamming into him. RVD watched proudly.

_That's right Champ, show them what they couldn't take away from you._

HHH slid to a sitting position, against the turnbuckle. 

Glaring down at the pathetic creature before him, the big man's eyes were nearly wild with barely contained rage. There were some people who achieved greatness through will and determination, not allowing anything to stop them yet at the same time never willing to sacrifice their own humanity. Triple H had long ago sold his soul to the devil for power. He, like many others in this violent business, have long ago destroyed whatever honor he ever had and with it anything and everything that separated them from primitive beasts.

And they called Kane the monster.

Kane reached for his hair again but was stopped in his tracks by a vicious low blow. One hand on his crotch, the big man staggered back painfully. Triple H used this opportunity to send his braced knee into his opponent's face, and after he fell onto the mat followed with an elbow drop to the chest. HHH jumped back onto his feet with a confident smile. That grin was quickly gone, however, as his antagonist suddenly sat up.

The big man pushed himself onto his feet and lunged forward, gripping the smaller man by his throat. Hunter kneed Kane in the stomach, but it was to no avail. With a growl, he was lifted high into the air, his airway cut off by the pressure. As Triple H wheezed painfully, a smile crossed the big man's face. He felt a tinge of sadistic pleasure seeing someone as remorseless as the creature in his crushing grasp suffer. As HHH's struggles began to lax, something caught Kane's eye. Standing just outside of the ring, holding an urn in his pudgy hands, was Paul Bearer.

The urn…

__

Suddenly, the urn was shoved to close to his face that Kane could smell the rust and tinge of blood. The scent made him sick. Holding his stomach, the boy quickly turned away.

Weak.

Kane covered his head in his hands, cringing away from the putrid, thick monster hovering over him.

Go away…

Please, go away…

His chin was suddenly gripped in a pudgy hand and turned to look into the demonic eyes of his master.

Pathetic.

Go away-

_Oh no…_

Kane had been doing so well, looked as if the tides of battle were in his favor. But when he suddenly froze so very still…Rob knew something was wrong. His eyes immediately fell on Paul Bearer.

As the big man's hold on his enemy's neck waned, Triple H took the opportunity to knee him in the stomach. Kane bent forward slightly, one hand covering his stomach painfully. He quickly shot his fist towards his enemy's face, but Hunter easily dodged it.

Kane's concentration was lacking. Rob glanced over at the old man again. As much as he wanted to wrap his fingers around that fat throat, he worried that the rest of Evolution would take this opportunity to make their appearance. Yet…as the big man staggered back from another blow, RVD could see the fear written on his companion's face.

"Kane!" Rob called. "Kane, just ignore him! Don't worry about him! Just focus on the match!"

His cries fell upon deaf ears. A loud crash resounded as the big man fell to a clothesline. The Cerebral Assassin was particularly skilled at exposing and using an enemy's weakness to his own advantage. Crouching down next to his adversary, Hunter grabbed hold of him by his hair.

"Yeah, you see Paul over there?" HHH hissed, bringing his face so close that Kane could feel his hot breath against his nose and mouth. "That's where you're going back to. And this time, there'll be no coming back!"

Suddenly fueled by a combination of rage and the fighting response of terror, Kane hurled his adversary off of him. As Triple H climbed back onto his feet, the big man pushed himself up and speared him with such intensity that he threw them both against and over the ropes. Hunter landed heavily on his back and neck just beside the ring. Kane landed on his side a few feet away.

__

"Kane!" Rob rushed to his companion's side as quickly as his limbs allowed but Paul, being closer, arrived at the battle area first. As the big man slowly pushed himself onto his hands and knees, his eyes locked onto his approaching master.

The fat man whispered words just loud enough for his son to hear. Seeing his friend's eyes widen in horror, RVD's resolve snapped. 

"That's it!" With a roar, the martial artist tackled the fat man down and choked him with both hands. The sudden motion and seeing his master getting pummeled by his best friend snapped Kane to attention. At this time, HHH had already climbed onto his feet using the ring as support. The big man grabbed onto his enemy's hair with a growl and shoved him back into the ring. Afterwards, he looked back at his confidante.

"Don't worry about this bastard anymore, Champ," Rob said, looking at his pal over his shoulder. "I've got him under control."

With a nod, Kane slid under the ropes and back into the ring. 

_Maybe now Kane won't worry so much about this bastard and focus on Triple H…_

He could only hope.

In the ring Triple H was waiting for him. The big man stepped forward, readying himself for attack. Suddenly, the Cerebral Assassin charged forward and Kane in return quickly grabbed his arm and shoved him toward the ropes. As the smaller man ricocheted back, he found himself caught in the jaw by a menacing big boot and fell to the floor with a loud thud. While HHH laid sprawled out on the canvas, his antagonist took the opportunity to climb onto the turnbuckle for his one aerial attack. Standing on the top turnbuckle, looking down at his enemy beneath him, a startling question came to the big man's mind.

_Where's the referee?_

Glancing around, Kane finally found Earl Hebner…laying on the ground barely conscious just outside of the ring by the ramp…

As if on cue, a strong force pushed him off of the turnbuckle. He landed on the hard floor with a loud thud and hiss of pain. Rolling over to meet his new adversary, the big man wasn't overly surprised to see Randy Orton climbing into the ring. With a roar of rage, Kane pushed himself onto his feet but was knocked down again by a menacing blow in the back of his head by Hunter…

His fingers biting into the fleshy mass of Paul Bearer's throat, Rob looked into his burning, hateful eyes.

"What kind of monster are you?! How can you do this to someone especially your own son!" RVD cried, rage strengthening his grasp. The old man writhed beneath him but was no match for his opponent's strength. "Explain to me how you can sleep at night knowing the nightmares you've caused!"

_All of the nightmares…_

All of the pain…

The trauma…a life shattered…

…all from this one vicious monster.

"You…talk as if the thing you're referring to is human…" Paul's vile words only fueled the martial artist's anger more. "He is nothing more than a beast that needs to be controlled!"

_…all this, and without even a hint of remorse._

"Shut up!" Rob released one hand and drew it back into a fist. As he raised his fist back, something hard hit him in the back of his head. He pitched forward, landing partially ontop of Paul, partially off to the side. Quickly he released his grip on the old man's throat and rolled onto his back to face his attacker.

Ric Flair…

If Ric Flair was here, so must be-

A loud crash resounded and the martial artist turned his head to see Kane fall from the turnbuckle onto the canvas below. Randy Orton and Triple H stood over him.

"Kane!" Rob climbed onto his feet and swung one leg in a roundhouse kick at the Nature Boy. Ric Flair caught his foot and held it tight. RVD prepared for the insegury* but Paul Bearer grabbed his other ankle from his place on the floor. After a moment of struggling he lost his balance and fell onto floor. There the Nature Boy proceeded to send multiple kicks into his abdomen. After a moment Rob rolled over and kicked the former world champion's leg out from underneath and he too fell to the ground.

Another thud from the ring caught the martial artist's attention and he looked back at the ring. There he found Randy Orton performing his finisher on Kane.

"NO!"

Rob pushed himself to his feet, but before he could run to his friend's aid his legs were caught by both Ric Flair and Paul Bearer. Feverishly he kicked at them, but panic began to overtake him and he couldn't shake himself free. Out of the corner of his eye the martial artist could see Triple H pulling Kane onto his feet and setting him up for the pedigree.

"Kane! Kane get up! Fight Kane! Fight!"

Pulling Kane's arms up, Hunter executed his finishing move.

Rob pulled his leg from Paul Bearer's filthy grasp and kicked at Ric Flair as hard as his strength allowed. But nothing would make the former champion release his vice-like grip.

"Kane! Please get up! Kane!"

Triple H rolled the big man onto his back and went for the pin. Randy Orton quickly slid under the ropes to hide himself from official view.

RVD frantically kicked at him and, ultimately losing his balance, fell onto one knee.

"Kane! Kick out!"

The referee slowly stumbled back into the ring and got down for the count.

"Kane! Get up!"

_"Get up!"_

Rob got back up and nailed Ric Flair in the head as hard as he possibly could. The Nature Boy finally released his grip and the martial artist sprinted to the ring.

One…

"Kane! Please get up! You must get up!"

As Rob began to slide underneath the ropes, he was caught around the waist by Randy Orton.

Two…

"Kane! Kick out! Kick out! Kick out!"

The martial artist slammed his elbow into his enemy's face rapidly until Randy was forced to let him go.

"Kane!"

Three.

Rob's world shattered.

__

*However in the world you spell that move. It's the one where someone has your foot and you swing your other foot up and hit them in the side of their head.

_Author's Notes: Heehee, what an evil, evil place to leave off I bet! I know this took a little while to do, it's hard for me to write out fighting scenes. As much as I like to watch violence, I'm not overly good at writing it. I don't think this one was too bad. Towards the end I wanted to give it a 'hyper' sort of feeling. An 'edge of your seat' kinda feeling. Like everything was going so fast. Bwahaha, I will post the next chapter as soon as possible, so you guys won't have to wait too long. I hope you liked this one, and that it kept the interest in this story fresh. _


	20. Chapter 20

Slow Chemical

Chapter 20

_Three._

The referee's voice rang in Kane's mind like a terrible omen. A chilling foreshadow of what was to come.

_He had failed._

The big man slowly pulled himself into a sitting position and drew his knees to his chest. He could hear Triple H and Randy Orton's laughter.

_It's time to come home, Kane…_

He had failed.

He covered his ears with his hands, trying to will the horrible sounds from his mind.

No!

The laughter blended with the roars of the crowd.

_Time to come home…_

He shook his head violently, tremors coursing though him.

No!

_He had failed._

_Come home…_

NO!!

Nothing he did could silence the laughter, the screams and cheers of the crowd, his master's haunting words…

"ROB!"

Rob placed his head in his hands and leaned against the turnbuckle just outside of the ring.

How could he let this happen?!

He had promised Kane…he had promised to protect him, to make sure no one would interfere.

And his partner will be the one to suffer for his failure…

"ROB!"

His partner's cry had snapped him from his thoughts. The martial artist looked into the ring to see Kane curled into a fetal position, a haunted expression on his face, with his hands over his ears as if trying to block out some terrible sound. Triple H and Randy Orton were standing over him triumphantly. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Paul Bearer standing with Ric Flair, a sadistic grin plastered on his pudgy face. Ignoring the chills that coursed through him, RVD climbed into the ring and to his companion's side.

"Shhh…He can't control you anymore…" Rob said soothingly, gripping Kane gently by both shoulders. He didn't care if the entire world was watching, he wasn't about to let his best friend suffer like this. "Remember, you're bigger, stronger, you don't have to listen to anything he says."

Kane's eyes were closed tightly. This didn't look good…In the back of his mind, RVD considered attacking and defeating all of them, grabbing his partner by the hand and whisking him away to safety. Fortunately his strict discipline outweighed his strong urge for heroics. There was no way he could defeat all of them, especially not simultaneously. In Kane's current mental condition…the last thing he needed was for Rob to be out of commission-

Eric Bischoff's music suddenly began to play. The melody sent a chill through RVD, as he knew what would be likely to come. Ignoring the screaming crowd and the sadistic laughter of their enemies, he brought his face closer to his partner's.

"Listen to me…I'm going to do everything I can to get you out of this. You're not his puppet anymore, Kane…"

"Kane!" Eric roared into the microphone, his annoying voice drawing a string of boo's and 'asshole' chants from the crowd. Rob could feel his partner stiffen at the sound of his name. "You lost the match! You know the stipulation!"

An abrupt blow struck RVD against the side of his head, knocking him to the floor. He rolled onto his back to see Ric Flair and Randy Orton standing over him, the latter holding a folded chair. Another bang resounded and out of the corner of his eye he could see Kane on the ground. Triple H stood over him with Paul Bearer. The big man appeared to be conscious, but he didn't move.

"Kane…" Rob whispered. He felt so hopeless…how could everything they worked so hard for be taken so easily…?

Suddenly, the lights darkened. A vaguely familiar melody began to play.

RVD's eyes widened.

It couldn't be. It wasn't possible.

The martial artist could see the silhouette of his partner lift slightly, as if looking towards the titantron with the same air of shock and confusion.

It couldn't be…

But it was!

The Undertaker…

Kane could only watch his brother's ride to the ring in silent awe.

How could he be here?

This couldn't be happening!

During his childhood years of torment and pain he had yearned for his brother's protection. 

It had never been provided.

This could only be a figment of his ravaged imagination…

Even as his brother dismounted off of the motorcycle and climbed into the ring, Kane half-expected him to disappear.

The members of Evolution glanced at each other nervously, as if silently debating a course of action. Mark glared at each one, finally resting his sights on his former manager.

The old man's eyes widened in horror. He stepped back, his hand moving towards the ropes. Triple H stepped forward, but one look from his new enemy melted his resolve. Undertaker motioned for the microphone, the referee immediately complied.

"So let me get this straight," Mark began, turning his gaze temporarily to Eric Bischoff, who stood on the ramp near the titantron. "Kane versus Triple H for the world title. Kane wins, he wins the belt. He loses, he gets sent back to Bearer."

"That's right, Underta-" Eric Bischoff began.

"Shut up, boy!" Mark snapped. "I ain't finished yet!"

The general manager quickly shut his mouth. Kane didn't move from his place on the floor. He could only sit and watch his brother with unblinking eyes, terrified that if he were to avert his gaze Mark would disappear and he would realize that this was, indeed, some kind of dream. Rob shifted closer to Kane, resting a hand on his arm. The big man didn't even notice.

"Now…I've been wondering if somethin' like this was a legal stipulation…so I decided to give ol' Linda McMahon a call…" Eric Bischoff stiffened up at the mention of his boss's name. Ric Flair and Randy Orton looked at each other. Kane gasped. Could…could it be possible…? Had his brother truly come to save him…? "According to her…any stipulation is legal…"

Kane's heart dropped.

"…As long as both parties accept the terms. I've been watching RAW pretty closely and not once did I see my little brother consent," Undertaker finished. He glanced over at the members of Evolution, then at Kane, then finally back onto Eric Bischoff.

"He walked into this ring and fought that match!" Eric quickly declared. "That automatically means he consents!"

"Not according to Ms McMahon," Mark replied. "Linda's been watchin' Raw also, and according to her my bro wasn't given a choice. So this match is nullified."

"You can't do that!" Eric cried. Triple H and Randy Orton stepped forward, but a quick glare from the American Bad Ass quickly stopped them.

"N…nullified…" Kane whispered. He could vaguely feel Rob rub his arm.

"That's right, Kane!" RVD murmured excitedly.

"You deaf, boy? I said nullified. Now…for the pathetic bunch of rotten cheats standin' in the ring…" Undertaker glowered at the Evolution members. "If any of you so much as _look_ at my baby brother the wrong way again, I'm going to personally rearrange each of your faces." He turned his glare to the one who had caused his younger sibling such torment. "That includes you, old man! In fact, you better get yer ass out of this arena right now before I gut you!"

Casting one last glance at his escaped prey, Paul Bearer immediately climbed out of the ring and rushed out. Evolution quickly followed, leaving Undertaker, Rob and Kane alone in the ring…

This is it.

Undertaker looked down at his younger sibling. Throughout his long trip to this arena, many things had run through his mind. What he was going to do, going to say… Throughout the many sleepless nights riding along the highway he pondered on what course of action he would partake once he arrived. However, once he finally did arrive at the arena and heard Evolution's music playing, all predetermined thoughts had left his mind. All he knew was that his brother needed him, and for once he was going to be there.

The sight before Mark sent a small pang of guilt through him. Kane looked so utterly shocked, to the point of disbelief…as if he never thought that anyone would save him…especially not the brother who had abandoned him almost regularly. Rob Van Dam was sitting there next to him, with an excited, happy look on his young face. The American Bad Ass had not intended on talking to his brother right in the center of public view…

Yet, now that he was here, he couldn't just leave without any kind of explanation…

Tossing the microphone out of the ring, Undertaker knelt down before Kane and gently laid one hand on his shoulder. "Hey little bro…it's been awhile eh?"

"B…brother…?"

Mark nodded. "That's right, boy…I know I ain't done too good a job protecting you, and I know you got a good reason not to trust me…but I wanna make it up to you. I don't expect you to hang around me or anythin' like that, I know we've butt heads quite a bit in the past. I just want you to know that fer now on I'm gonna be watchin' over you. Y'know… make sure no assholes like Bearer gonna bother you anymore."

Kane stared at him in continued disbelief. Rob scooted back a little, to give the brothers space. Unfortunately, it only caught Undertaker's attention. The American Bad Ass looked over at him with a slight smile.

"You better take care o' my little bro or I'm gonna have to pound you too, boy. Don't worry, I know you will," Mark said with a slight smile. He looked back over to Kane, giving his shoulder a final squeeze before letting go and standing up. "I'll see ya around, bro."

He started walking to the edge of the ring.

For so long Kane had yearned for his brother's protection. For so long he had known that it would never be provided, that love and trust and security would forever be far above his grasp. Now…out of the blue, Mark had come.

Come to save him.

"Mark…!"

Yet…how could this be true? Why, after all these years…

Undertaker stopped, turning to regard his younger sibling. 

_How could he know…_

…know for sure that Mark wasn't going to betray or abandon him again…

…know that his brother's words were truthful…?

"Yeah, boy…?"

At the same time…if Mark hadn't come when he did…

Kane pushed himself onto his feet, Rob following suit. Looking into his brother's emerald eyes, the big man searched for something. What, he didn't actually know.

After so many betrayals by so many people…he had long ago vowed never to trust anyone again…yet…a swift glance at Rob reminded him…

…it was okay to trust other people…

Whatever it was he searched for in his brother's eyes… he had found it.

"Thank you…" 

__

Author's Notes: Bwahaha! You guys thought I was going to send poor Kane back to his master's basement, didn't ya?! Funny thing, I've had this scenario planned out all the way back towards the beginning of my story. (Yes, I actually do plan ahead, to a certain extent. Specifically climatic scenes such as this one.) So that it wouldn't feel like I just pulled Undertaker out of my butt as a plot device, Chapter 15 was dedicated to him leaving his home and heading off to the arena. I had hoped that due to the chapters in between that the events of "My Brother's Keeper" would be temporarily forgotten, so that his appearance would be a surprise. I had wanted Undertaker to save him, but for the longest time I couldn't figure out what he would do. If he just interfered in the match, it wouldn't be as dramatic. I wanted the shock effect of Chapter 19's end, while still being able to 'save' Kane. I figured that such a severe stipulation couldn't possibly be legal without consent. (All of the matches with severe stipulations I've ever seen involved agreements on both sides.) Either way, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that it lived up to the hype of the previous chapter's cliffhanger!


	21. Chapter 21 Home

Slow Chemical

Chapter 21 - Home

He couldn't believe it.

Even after he left the arena with his partner, far away from the monster who had tormented him for so long, he had to hold onto Rob's arm to make sure that this wasn't an illusion…The martial artist would only smile back at him, not bothered by his almost possessive hold.

His brother had come to save him…he wasn't even supposed to be there at all…Bad Blood was a strictly RAW paper view…but he came anyway…

He came with the sole and only purpose to protect his little sibling.

And Rob…

"Hey!" Kane's train of thought was broken by Hurricane's cheerful call. He turned to see Terri and Greg approaching. Rob waved at them.

"We saw the whole thing," Terri said with a smile. "It was so great to see Undertaker…it must have been such a relief for you…"

Kane nodded slightly, not giving a verbal response. Hurricane grinned, "It's been a tough night for everyone. We were thinking about going out on the town tonight. Wanna come?"

Kane didn't answer. There was so much on his mind, he really couldn't think. Noticing this, Rob flashed a smile to the duo.

"Thanks, man, but we're probably gonna pass. It has been a really long and tiring night, so we should probably turn in early," the martial artist answered.

Greg shook his head. "No problem. So we'll just drop you guys off by the hotel and we'll see you tomorrow!"

Throughout the drive and even as they entered their hotel room, Kane's eyes never left his partner. He long ago ran out of explanations for why Rob had stood by him even when Kane had pushed him away, even when it potentially meant danger. He had seen the scars, internally and externally…if he had stuck around for curiosity's sake, he would have been long gone by now…if he had stuck around for _any_ ulterior motive, he would have grown tired of all the drama and left long before now…

…but he didn't. He had been there, through everything, the good and the bad. Not only that…

Kane's fingers rested on his lips. He never forgot that night…it was the closest to intimacy that he had _ever_ been with anyone…

…and Rob had called him beautiful…

Undertaker had been there…he had gone out of his way just to protect him…

Greg and Terri…even though he had pushed them away in the past, they had been so eager to rekindle their friendship…

Rob…

…had been there through it all… 

Placing his luggage down on the floor, for the first time Kane felt so…alive. No longer alone…no longer trapped in a world which had no place for him.

The big man was compelled to entertain a dangerous thought…perhaps… Perhaps he really, truly _was_ worthy of love and companionship, after all?

Rob dropped his baggage carelessly onto the floor, nearly bouncing with excitement.

The martial artist had dearly hoped that Undertaker would come back into Kane's life, knowing how much it would mean to him. Yet, never had he imagined that Mark would have come to his rescue like he had…it was like destiny had played its hand. It was an enormous relief…if the big man had been forced to return to Paul Bearer…

Rob refused to think about what would have happened.

It was no wonder Kane was in such shock. He was probably as certain as the martial artist was that the old man had won…

"Rob…" His thoughts were scattered at the abrupt call of his name. The martial artist turned to see his partner standing just before him.

"Yeah, Champ?"

There was a slight, uncomfortable pause. "Rob, I…uh, thank you…"

RVD merely blinked in confusion. "For what?"

"For everything…" A warm smile crossed the big man's features, lighting up his eyes. At that moment, he was breathtakingly beautiful. "I couldn't have gotten this far without you, Rob…"

"Aw, you don't have to thank me for anything, Champ!" the martial artist's voice softened, his tone grew serious. "I know you've had a hard time, and I know it's hard for you to trust people. I totally understand, hell if I was in your position I would be the same way. But, uh…" RVD ran his fingers through his hair, slightly flustered. "…man, I don't want you to ever worry about being alone anymore…I want you to know that from now on no matter where you go I'm gonna be by your side…"

The big man looked down at him silently, appearing to be touched by the loving declaration. The overhead lamp was dim, illuminating the large room in a soft glow. The light reflected in his eyes.

"Kane…" Any further words were halted when the big man gently pressed his fingertips against the smaller's lips.

There was another long pause, yet, this time it wasn't an uncomfortable one. Rob rested his hand on his partner's covered cheek. Slowly, he reached his other hand up and loosened Kane's mask, finally lifting it off and dropping it carelessly onto the floor. The big man leaned forward, shifting his hand to cradle the back of RVD's neck and pressing his lips tenderly against his.

After a moment the two broke the kiss, drawing back just enough to gaze into each other's eyes.

Kane gently cupped his partner's face in his hands and leaned forward, kissing him again but this time with heightened passion. The martial artist rested his hands on the big man's chest, gently pushing him towards the large, queen-sized bed. As they landed upon the soft, velvet sheets, Rob straddled his waist.

"Are you sure you want this?" RVD asked, his voice soft. His hands still rested on Kane's massive chest. "I don't want to force you into anything you don't feel ready for…"

Without hesitation, the big man tenderly pulled Rob down so that their faces were nearly touching. The martial artist could feel his partner's warm breath softly against his face. "Yeah, Rob. I'm ready."

"You're beautiful…"

__

Tender words.

Kane's hands traveled over his partner's body, first with some hesitation but after drawing a groan of pleasure from Rob continued with increasing confidence. In return, the martial artist was running his hands through Kane's velvety brown hair.

Soft touch…so unlike the harsh blows he had long grown accustomed to…

Rob gently eased off his partner's shirt and planted a series of kisses on his throat.

Kane had always known the dictionary definition of sex, but until that moment he never realized that it was so much more than just a physical sensation…

The martial artist pulled off his own shirt and tossed it aside almost casually. Kane then flipped them both over so that he was on top.

The big man had heard once that intercourse brings out a person's true nature.

A small thud emitted as Rob's belt and pants were tossed off the bed without a second thought. They were followed shortly by Kane's.

Perhaps it was those words and the meaning behind it that had frightened Kane so much initially. The thought of anyone knowing his innermost thoughts and desires deeply unnerved him.

Fingers interlocked.

But now…

Legs intertwined.

It didn't scare him anymore.

The regular chill of the night was replaced with the warmth of their body heat.

Now…

He was home.

Kane's eyes opened to find the room bathed in sunlight from the partially opened window. Beside him Rob still laid sound asleep. The big man sat up with a hearty yawn and stretched. It was still early yet, perhaps a good time to take a shower so RVD will have hot water when he awakened. With that in mind, he gently planted a kiss on his partner's forehead and pushed himself off of the bed.

As he entered the bathroom, the corner of his eye caught the mirror settled just above the sink. Immediately out of habit he averted his gaze, but slowly he forced himself to look back at his reflection. He hesitantly approached the image and gazed upon it with opened eyes.

After a moment he passed a hand through his hair, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Maybe he wasn't _that_ bad looking, after all…

The End

__

Author's Notes: I hope I didn't completely blow the sex scene. I know it's not the most descriptive thing in the world, but when I looked at sex scenes in other fics, so many felt so tasteless and dirty. Perhaps that's what sex is, but I find it hard to describe every bump and grind. Ultimately I figured that this way was the best. I've had the plan to end it with Kane looking on his reflection and having a better view on it since around chapter 17. I just thought it would be subtle and yet show just how much Kane's confidence has improved. I wanted to give it a moderately open ending, but give it a sense of hope like no matter what Paul Bearer or Triple H or anyone else decides to try, nothing will ever bring Kane down like that again. Paul Bearer's not dead or gone from the WWE, but now he can no longer bring Kane trauma. It wasn't the physical defeat of Paul or HHH or anyone else that was the point of the battle, it was the psychological aspect I was shooting for. I hope that's what I hit. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story, your input has been highly appreciated! 


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